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‘There were no warning signs’: what happens when your partner falls into the ‘manosphere’?
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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Men's Liberation
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I know this kind of attitude can feel righteous and satisfying. But, it's exactly the kind of attitude that drives people towards pieces of shit like Tate. I'm not saying you have to bend over and make assholes feel welcome, but having a little empathy can go a long way. Pushing them away so aggressively just contributes to a bad feedback loop.
The whole reason the manosphere is easy to get into is because it is, on the surface, one of the most welcoming and validating spaces for men to be in. Thanks for giving attention to that with your comment.
The manosphere is "welcoming" the same way an abusive partner is "welcoming", and both are for the same reason.
Abusers are often very charismatic and make you feel really good at first It's how they can keep people around for years and years.
Yeah, I read this first thing in the morning and replied before even checking what community it is. Probably should've deleted this but also, maybe it's a good discussion to have around here.
I know that you're right but it just feels hopeless. You say that I should have empathy but honestly what I worry about the most is that the people we're talking about here have no empathy of their own. Because I can't help but wonder, don't these kids have mothers and sisters that they look at and at least feel a little bit bad about the circles they spend time in and the ideology they believe in? It's a strange mix of disgust and despair that I feel about this. Because I feel like trying to appeal to the good nature of mother's sons that listen to rapists in the first place is a lost cause.
But I could just be bitter. And facing my own gender wars internally and projecting that. I've actually been trying to stay away from these conversations because I'm not sure if I can be anything but angry at this point.
Exactly. It's easy to treat an asshole like an asshole, but that literally just makes them feel all the more justified.
Anything will make them feel justified. That is why they are assholes. Even if they had no reason at all, they will concoct one.
Nah, that's not it. Manosphere assholes offer easy and satisfying answer to all the problem, and the solution they offer doesn't require anyone to do hard work, but instead gives the sensation of being right and cool.
That's the reason they attract people, not the uncaring left, not the smugness of righteous comments on the internet, ot the evilness of women.
The left is often extremely hostile and bitter towards men. A lot of these people grew up watching men getting portrayed as the source of all that's bad in the world on social media. An adult may be able to separate themselves from that kind of language, but I doubt that children can.
I'm sorry, but it absolutely does not help that we've intentionally created double standards where it's fine to trash entire groups of people as long as they're in the majority. It accomplishes nothing except pushing potential allies away into the arms of people who choose to accept them instead of constantly rejecting them.
The left talks a big game about inclusion and fairness, but its online spaces don't reflect that in the slightest. These spaces are often just an excuse for some traumatized people to bully others who they perceive as having harmed them. We never should have allowed this behavior and it's incredible how much damage it's done to the movement over the last 10-15 years.
It's clearly both. When there is this attitude from some people that men are dangerous and should be feared, while another group welcomes them in, it's pretty obvious which one has more draw. Valid and reasonable criticism is extremely important, but labeling them as the scum of the earth isn't that. The worst part is the message it gives to young impressionable boys who are just learning about this stuff.