this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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The men who are successful with dating are already dating or active in places where they are finding better success than clubs and arranged dating events.
The men who are unsuccessful at dating are confused and wary about women, who are no longer the compliant trad-wife wannabes that these men were lead to expect exist in numbers by the likes of “manospherian” influencers like Peterson, Tate, et al.
Its a lot more than the tiny incel community that is having trouble dating. The truth is most men don't date anymore, they don't even attempt to date. Its not about their expectations but the result of lived experiences as well as the culture they find themselves in.
There's no pain from rejection if you never try, and without family members encouraging them to date or friends setting them up on blind dates there's no actual reason to try. Relationships simply aren't worth the risk or pain. Instead just hang out, watch porn to take care of basic needs, and never admit loneliness is a feeling; it probably won't work out well for humanity but it works out well enough individually.
Not sure where you get the idea that “most men” are not dating. The description you make of what “most men” are doing sounds pretty much verbatim lifted out of something in the incel community.
According to Pew, around 63% of men under 30 are single, with 32% of all men being single (and about half are married.). Around 57% of all US single adults surveyed (with about equal distribution of men and women) say they're not looking to date at all. That's a majority of men that are simply not on the market. Only 42% of single people are looking for romance at all. And the reason I single out men is because between men and women, men who ARE looking to date are looking for serious relationships, where as women are not. (based on majority responses.)
I'm sorry you are so sheltered that everyone that doesn't conform to your narrow set of experiences is an incel, but the truth is most men aren't dating.
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/
probably from the statistics that demonstrate that men ages 18-26 aren't going in as many dates, aren't asking women out at the same rates, etc. etc. This is a known serious problem, and it's one the manosphere has basically been created to exploit.