this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
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Making a life-changing decision - for more than just yourself - on the assumption that they will want anything to do with you in 40 years is, how do I put this... stupid as fuck?
And that assumes they also are able-bodied, of sound mind and judgement, can care for any others financially...
My folks are getting up there in age, and I'm not getting any younger myself. They are religious, I'm not. I'm LGBT, they are bigoted. I can understand the big picture of caring for others through community, they don't. They are still very capable and mobile, I'm disabled. What side of the fence do you think I'm on?
They could have just used a fucking condom. They should have. They didn't.
My mom would straight up tell us we were supposed to take care of her when she got old, it's literally the only reason I was ever given for why I was made. For that and other reasons I'm no-contact now, but it's an incredibly toxic mindset and even worse that you're inflicting that on your kids.
My mom had moved to the guilt phase, "none of you kids will take care of me when I'm old"
I can't speak for my siblings, but my mom at least knew better than to try that on me, I've straight up told her I resent her for ever having me, which was a little dramatic sure, but at least it got the point across lol
With all due respect, I think your personal bias is entirely coloring your opinion here. Most people have at least an amicable relationship with their parents as adults, generally much closer than that. Just because you have a bad one doesn't mean people shouldn't have kids.
In fact we need more kids, especially when raised by progressive people, because the fascists are having them too.
We're not going to out-breed stupid or evil. Tbh, having a kid for the sake of shoving them into that death spiral is cruel as fuck.
...also kids aren't their parents - you can do all the right steps in raising them and still wind up with a fucking Nazi once they leave the house, and now we've got a net loss on all fronts.
Vice versa is also true ofc, but please don't crank out a baby just to use it as a footsoldier in a losing war on a dying planet.
The cruelest thing a person could ever do to another human is to bring them into the world.
Suffering and death are the only guarantees on this mortal coil.
Lots of good in between, but still.
The lots of good in between is not guaranteed.
I didn't say 'don't have kids', but you must realize that you are forcing a being into the world that may not see things as you do, regardless of what/how/why, and assuming they will follow an assumed plan that you have carved out is... controlling another being, in any capacity, that isn't 100% concentual, is bad in my view. Hard stop, no exceptions. If that is 'I don't want to be your nurse in old age', or 'I loathe that you have created me' or anything in between or beyond, is irrelevant.