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this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2025
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Fukan hell, have to repeat this:
Canada is twice colonized, by brits and yanks. We feel it. We joke and gripe about it. We mostly put up with it and it's hard to explain to outsiders or newcomers, but especially to americans, who do not see themselves as colonizers and scoff at the notion.
But do not underestimate how a hundred years or more of threats (yes the latest bullshit is nothing new really) and dismissive subtle put downs and cultural erasure just gets under your skin.
It winds up being a cliché that we define ourselves in opposition to the USA.
To be Canadian is to NOT be American, no joke. And we are proud.
So stop fucking speculating or wondering or talking like it will ever happen. We will jihad the shit out of you if you invade.
Yeah, all this speculation about senators and electoral balance and whatnot skips lightly over the more immediate effects that would come from an American attempt at annexation. If the Americans thought trying to occupy Iraq or Afghanistan was bad, well, this would be like that, except that Canadians can pass for American and can access America's home soil quite easily.
How would rampant assassinations and terrorist attacks against Republicans (and the particularly spineless Democrats that enabled them) affect the electoral balance, Forbes? Ever hear of the FLQ, by any chance?
Americans still have this basic delusion of being "welcomed as liberators" when their Freedom and Democracy rolls in to town, even after all the times they've stuck their hands into ovens and been burned.
I'd argue it's the same hubris that led to the modern wars in Europe; the thought that we've done this elsewhere in the world, we can do it easily next door. Well, next door means you're exposing your own home to serious damage. Only 0.4% of the US population actively serves in the military, and 6% are veterans. That is a tiny part of the population that has even a hint of first-hand knowledge of how bad this could be. American government and media make these operations look quick, safe, efficient, and relatively bloodless, with relatively little capital--buildings, equipment, people--lost. They are not.
On the flip side, I think Canadians may underestimate how much they're putting this on other subcultures within their whole to fight an insurgency. There is this confidence that the FLQ, the aboriginal peoples, or some other group with a history of standing up for themselves will be the ones to stand up instead of them. The reason this is ridiculous is because it contradicts their basic thesis statement, that Canadians pass as Americans. You know who doesn't easily pass as American? Someone with a strong French accent or an aboriginal complexion.
Obviously I'm not saying the FLQ will be the ones to "stand up," the FLQ are long gone at this point. They're just an example showing that Canada's had brutal terrorist insurgencies acting within it before. We're not the easy-going doofuses that American popular culture portrays us as.
Right, I agree.
Converting to Islam is a... weird way to handle a foreign invasion, but I'll take it.
Jihad is just a compact word for "get the fuck out of my country you invader or else". Maybe you know an english word that carries all that weight?
-- James Nicoll.
That Arabic word, "Jihad," sure looks handy for situations like this. Yoink! It's an English word now!
I think they talk about Jihad for Lisan al Gaib, https://dune.fandom.com/wiki/Muad%27Dib%27s_Jihad
perhaps followed by a Butlerian jihad against OpenAI and Tesla.
HA-AAAHHH YAAAAAAA YO EEE AAAAAAA
j00 r t3h f1r57 p3r50n 1v3 s33n 70 u53 1337 5p33k n s00 l0ng, h4xx0r!