Have an aunt who has only ever lived with women. I was always told it was her roommate. Everyone refers to her as a roommate. They BOUGHT THE HOUSE TOGETHER. Have dogs together. Raise the other ones kids together.
When I was like 17, and openly gay, I straight up asked my grandmother if her sister was a lesbian. She said no they're just roommates and got super specific about it. I asked my aunt a couple weeks later when I saw her and she went "Well, yeah. Do I not wear enough flannel?"
I didn't know my late grandmother dated women until I was like 25 and my mother pointed it out. Though, to be fair I was really young (under 5) the last time she lived with someone. If I had to guess, she probably swore off relationships after her "roommate," Dolores, stole a bunch of money from her.