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this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2022
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Making an online dating profile literally felt like commodifying and marketing myself. I just stopped it felt so gross
Single people are a commodity. When/if a person finds a long term partner on those apps theyβre βoff the marketβ and delete the app, so wouldnβt that incentivize the companies to tweak the algorithm towards surface level, meaningless matches that probably wonβt work out in the long run?
I'm pretty sure it's an open secret that they have always done this
It just felt so formulatic and kinda gross when I tried it once. You post the bio, try to be a bit quirky but not too much, some photos of yourself, some photos of you with others so they know you're not a creep, a photo of you doing something cool and a thirst trap at the end of you look good.
Also I know there's a ton of underage people on there because I knew people in high school lying about their age back when the apps first started and yeah I won't no part in :ancap-good: So many profiles with their age as like 23 but then in the bio it's like "20 not 23"
Making an OD profile reminded me of making a resume in like all the worst ways possible.
Really made me feel like trying to convince someone to date me. Idk but in my mind it shouldn't take convincing, if we have a genuine connection it should happen organically.
To me it was always just trying to get a first date and see where it goes from there. I had a bit of luck with those dating apps though, I know it doesn't work for a lot of people. I found that having a little conversation then asking to meet up for a date worked well.
I found it much harder to just walk up to someone at a bar and be like "hey do you want a drink" or whatever, always felt like I was imposing and it was super awkward. Then you have to go through the "convincing" stage anyway, except it's loud as fuck and everyone's drunk
Tbh I blame online dating for making trying to meet people irl seem weird and odd now
haha, i never thought about it but totally. back when i was 19ish was when everybody suddenly had cellphones. at that time it was protocol to ask for the phone number and then, some short time later, ring them up to ask them out on a specific date (smooth, but serious) or just shoot the shit with them on the phone for a bit to see if you click in conversation (chill).
now calling someone on the phone to ask someone out or, worse, for a chat is like criminal pervert territory, unless it's an older relative or a friend far away without internet.
My own mother won't even call me for a direct conversation. Social media has fucked up communication well beyond dating
I think the dating apps are probably way worse for our mental health than tik tok or facebook or any of that. I know they've sent me spiraling.
I wonder if this is different for women. I know several who use Tinder as a self-esteem booster, just opening the app with no intention of pursuing anyone and reveling in the attention.
If you derive your personal self worth by the literal skin-deep appraisal of internet strangers then you are mentally unwell.
That's not a "self-esteem booster" that's you taking a hit of a "virtual drug" because you can't produce your own self-esteem. You literally get high from it and then come crashing back down.
I was trapped in it once.