this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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[Migrated, see pinned post] Casual Conversation
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An unfortunate situation where I've had 8 dates with a woman that I'm really into, but she barely texts between dates and I don't know how to interpret that. Like, when we're together it's all very affectionate and fun, but between dates it'll be like 2 days before I get a response to "are you coming to my party on Saturday?". She also sort of flaked on soft plans without a word once.
We talked about it back around date 4. She mentioned a guy she'd been seeing had gotten very integrated and then abruptly bailed on her recently, and she thinks a lot of texting can create a false sense of intimacy. And she doesn't want to formalize into partners, but keep it at "we're dating".
But I'm like not texting certainly creates a sense of distance and disinterest, but I don't know if it's false.
So my plan is to look for someone else. If she comes around and wants to be responsive, I'd be happy. But this is stressing me out. It's a bummer because she's a lot of things I want and haven't had in previous partners.
Edit: she texted me that I've been lovely and patient and kind, and it's not fair to me that she's been so checked out. She said she's going to step back from dating and focus on her job, but hopes I find what I'm looking for.
On the one hand this is devastating because I could have loved her. On the other... well, there's not really another hand. It sucks.