Shitty Million Dollar Ideas

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This is a place to pitch goofy million dollar ideas that you had in the shower, as you were falling asleep, or during a fever dream. Think of it is as shitty Shark Tank.

The usual rules apply:

!shitty_million_dollar_ideas@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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Picture this: you're working in a large open-plan office and you need to send a message to Steve at the other end of the room. You pull out your messenger handgun, dictate your message (because you paid for the voice recognition feature) and let it engrave your words on a bullet. Then you simply fire it at the target mounted above Steve's cube!

Fast, attention-getting and simple. It's the perfect system.

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Mic in the bowl subwoofer in the toilet tank. Maybe it could be surround sound system compatible so you can pipe it into the living room.

Make your friends think there's a typhoon and thunder in your bathroom and earn their respect.

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Self explanatory.

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The slogan "Meat meets meat"

Probably one of the grossest thoughts I've had this week. It makes me thing about Smosh's Beef 'n Go video from 16 years ago.

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Idea: Comedy subscription were you get the setup for free but have to pay for the punch line

#shittymilliondollaridea #comedy @shitty_million_dollar_ideas

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Going on a vacation but still need to annoy the people downstairs? Attach a thumper to the floor and know your responsibilities are taken care of

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An empty nuclear flask. (Used for transporting nuclear waste) cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3918471

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/vcjester on 2024-09-14 00:32:51+00:00.

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From the makers of demand-priced car rides, concert tickets, and rents comes VariPay, a new Demand Based Salary calculator.

Instead of a fixed salary, employee income will be based on how much work there is to do, and when there is enough work, how efficient they were and how much effort they put into it.

The system is purely driven by AI, so nobody can accuse the vendor of favoritism. It runs continuously 24x7, making instant salary calculation updates no matter where in the world you live.

The service can automatically integrate with the previously announced AutoHR system, so firing and re-hiring replacement workers are handled with minimum friction. Efficiency levels can be charted in units of currency, aggregated worker heart-rate levels, or kilo-teardrops.

It comes with a management dashboard showing the amount of salary saved vs a traditional 'time-based' pay system. It also allows alarms to be set and parameters adjusted to accelerate cost-saving measures. Optional modules dynamically calculate management bonuses and maximize shareholder buybacks.

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Optional VR headset so you can get POV handjibbers from your favorite waifu.

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FTC: Over $110 million lost to Bitcoin ATM scams in 2023

cross-posted from: https://infosec.pub/post/17077253

​The U.S. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has reported a massive increase in losses to Bitcoin ATM scams, nearly ten times the amount from 2020 and reaching over $110 million in 2023. [...]

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cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/41186922

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