elfpie

After seeing this discussion being brought up again, I was going to genuinely ask you all to explain where that comes from. I’m from Brazil and I don’t recall ever shopping at a place with a large parking lot, which I believe might be part of the issue. I was thinking how come people value this act so much and before starting to write a post here I sent a message to a friend, then it hit me: it’s absurd.

I mean it. The feeling I had reading the comments wasn’t confusion or ignorance, it was the cognitive dissonance of looking at the world I live in and what people decided marks a person as decent. This is one of the moments I really have to stop and check if I’m not actually the crazy one. I really can’t think of something smaller to care about that someone else will defend so vehemently. Really, try me, I’m already broken again.

Let’s try a thought experiment. I define fanaticism as maintaining a position that can’t and won’t be changed by any sort of rational argument. That said, I ask for the second time: Are you a fanatic?

Next, let’s start investigating a little deeper. Try identifying a belief you have that is fundamental. Try something simple at first. The wall in front of me is solid. Would I be able to convince you otherwise? Would you act on it if I presented a perfect explanation proving that you are wrong and you agreed beyond any doubt? Can that wall in front of you not be solid?

Well, maybe that’s stupid. A wall is solid. It’s part of the definition. If I see something I identify as a wall, it must be solid. You can’t prove a wall is not solid. Bad example. I’m sorry.

Something different then. Do you believe there’s any human group that is inherently superior or inferior to another? Would you accept any perfect argument against that belief? Actually, would you accept anyone trying to make that argument? And, if you accept that this is a valid investigation, do you take for granted that a conclusion in conflict with your beliefs is proof enough that there’s some flaw in the argument itself? Are you a fanatic?

I am. Nothing new in my case. Self consciously speaking, I mean. The point today is the feeling we have when something fundamental is challenged. We won’t budge. And, please, notice I’m saying we, I’m saying you, I’m not saying them. I honestly believe we are all fanatics of some kind, although I might be wrong in this case, as in most cases.

If you think that what you are doing to someone else is too humiliating, degrading, unacceptable to think about happening to you, there's something to explore.

Go to 45:40 for a bit more context, but this quote is enough to start the discussion I have in mind.

The idea is simple and it’s mostly aimed at the ones with little interested in BDSM. BDSM is not abuse. It might be abusive, which is absolutely bad, but that should never be the nature of the practice.

From time to time, I see accusations of abuse being dismissed with the excuse it’s just a form of BDSM that people outside can’t understand. It’s not that hard to grasp the concepts, but you’ll notice you will never get an explanation. Serious people will know what they are talking about and are able to provide you with resources for you to educate yourself. Honestly, most people would find all the education and preparation quite boring, the same way someone that just wants to cut people up would find too bothersome to become a surgeon.

I'm not an expert on the subject, but a discussion elsewhere reminded me of some tests related to tracking and fingerprinting. I believe it's a nice starting point if you are interested or want to show others how much information can be used to track them.

Growing up, your IP was the great identifier, and I’m old enough that it might have been true for a good chunk of time. Hiding your IP is still important, but most companies don’t really care about you as an individual. Actually, the fact you are hiding you IP is just more relevant information to put you in the most adequate group. At the end of the day, I assume you are unique just because they have enough information to create a group with you alone.

https://coveryourtracks.eff.org/

https://www.amiunique.org/

I believe the problem is never showing evidence, but that the evidence is overwhelming. I could explain the general idea and, maybe, one or two specifics. People that use the XX/XY binary argument wouldn’t be able to explain either, but it’s usually only used because it conforms to a bias. And we are only talking about humans here. Language would implode if we tried to maintain convenient binaries and still back it up with science.

I've never been on twitter, but I'm not that surprised so many of us here were driving engagement.

OR Another perspective on separating the art from the artist.

Story time. I needed a haircut and shop from the neighborhood is good enough for me. The guy that runs it always had a extreme way of thinking, bordering dangerous territory, but a nice person that argues using what they know and listens. Until today, when I realized he just needed to talk to someone much worse to bring out all the bigotry inside of him. So he’s transphobic, homophobic and doesn’t support neurodivergent diagnosis. He’s a feminist, which the other client wasn’t, so it was horribly funny watching him trying to convince someone that women weren’t better off dealing with reusable diapers. It was bad. I considered leaving, but staying was a last kindness to someone that never treated me poorly, but that I can’t support anymore. He even apologized for the conversation, certainly unaware that his other client wasn’t the most awful for me.

Lately, I have been torturing myself by following the allegations against Neil Gaiman. I honestly don’t know the reason I’m doing that, but I am. I was quick to drop him as a choice in entertainment, specially because the parts he corroborate are already bad enough. Then, as usual, there’s the argument of separating the art from the artist. I have my issues with that, but today I found a new point of view with my experience. (not really, but a new way to demonstrate it)

I needed a haircut. I just shave my head, so it’s quite simple. Doing it at home during the pandemic was bad. Finding someone else to do it at a reasonable price and be completely satisfied will take some tries, again. It doesn’t have to be him. There are options. The next one might be secretly worse, might be the same or, with all the luck, someone better. At the end of the day, I don’t want to ever have to sit and listen to that kind of conversation because it’s simply convenient and because my leaving will not change anything.

This is mostly me venting. It drained me more than I thought it would. I'll probably not answer any comment so soon. I don't have the strength to spellcheck what I just wrote to tell the truth.

I really tried to ignore it and let it go as just another passing trend. It’s not my language, not my culture and not my battleground, but it’s hard. It hurt me seeing it slowly spreading and getting bigger. What made me decide to vent was reading someone talk about their struggles and seeing a familiar sentence that might be familiar to all: “I was a weird child”.

Being weird is not usually a problem, the issue usually is people being incapable to accept what they consider weird. Different is not wrong, queer is not wrong, expressing yourself and living the only way you know when it’s not hurting anyone around you is definitely not wrong, even if it doesn’t conform with society.

All these horrible people hate being called weird because it’s what they having been calling us the whole time, but in more specific ways. I feel using it as a slur now just reinforces the negative connotations and validate their view.

Update: semantic satiation to the rescue. Weird became a meme and a trend everyone wanted to take part and use regardless of it making sense.

My friend wants to punch their aggressor, so they tell me. They think about running into him on the street and punching him on the face. Between the two of us, I’m definitely the pacifist and I would always want a world without violent solutions, but, in this case, I wholeheartedly support their desire to simply punch him in the face.

You see, they ended up hurting themselves days after their incident, weeks later they got the courage to finally look for legal counsel, then their family withdrew support for the supposed well-being of not my friend. To make matters worse, the same night the little bit of power my friend could’ve had was denied, they had an encounter with their aggressor. They didn’t punch his face, they left for home shaking.

Should I tell my friend to not think about punching their aggressor’s face? Should I deny them their small coping mechanism? I’m the pacifist, but my fantasies would not be of simply punching him in the face. I would go low, very low, lower than him, in creative and cruel ways that make me actually sick by just considering them in passage, but that wouldn’t be more terrible than the actual reality so many people have to endure because of people like him.

Stop judging the words of those suffering under the boot when that’s the only power they really have, their only solace. We are mostly not David, we are Don Quixote.

Once again I go back to the Exiled Lands (Savage Wilds this time, actually), and once again I can't help editing ".../Conan Exiles/ConanSandbox/Config/DefaultGame.ini" to strip away the opening credits that I can't really skip otherwise or automatically. Not everyone is bothered by it and the wait time is the same, but I'm happier this way.

Do you have some quirk like that in your gaming life? Something that takes at least a bit of effort or research to make your setup just nice? Give me all your most silly and trivial examples. All praise mods that automate doors.

"Plan to follow, look to overtake". That's quite a simple rule that should be taught to everyone. It's a nice instructional video they won't put drivers in the defensive.

It’s really a question. I was going to comment how the term sounds one-sided to me, decided to do a quick search and realized there’s some controversy to the idea. I’m from Brazil and we don’t have a term for that as far as I know, so there might be a linguistic component to the sentiment I have as well.

If I say someone is my ally, I’m automatically their ally. Right? We have a common cause, even if the specifics may differ. Or we have a single goal, mission, vision, desire, and so on. We are allies, we are together. Then we have this concept of ally that seems to exist to denote a separation. I’m an ally because I’m other. Or, I’m an ally because I don’t have the same experiences, therefore I can’t speak from the same place you stand.

The idea we have to understand we speak from different places is important, but drawing a line in the cause and putting allies to one side is weird. Let me put it this way. Instead of sounding like “understand your situation is different than my own”, it sounds more like “know your place”.

How do you feel about that? Am I missing something?