Guntrigger

mmm... delicious fish

Well to be fair, indigenous Americans and Romans weren't on bad terms at that point, but I somehow don't think that's what he meant.

American morality in a nutshell

United Health Care?

Blink twice if you're locked in a tech billionaire's basement right now

It's where the pee is stored

But they wouldn't actually fight. They'd just agree with each other and then jack each other off. No-one wants to see that.

Who washes a towel?

I would be very impressed of any of them were still alive 800 years later

Lucky for who? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Somebody's been playing with fonts in Word rather than doing the assigned essay

They do both look like they are shitting themselves at the same time, but Hitler doesn't seem to be taking pleasure in it quite as much.