DaaftRaaft

joined 2 years ago
[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 7 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I can talk to animals

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But you become extremely jaded and disappointed in anyone younger than yourself, overcome with än irredeemable urge to tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But it also has no speed limit, causing items you pull around to reach light speed almost instantly, effectively growing to infinite size for the duration of the pull

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 17 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Ads are blocked for me in real life. Billboards, posters, tv-commercials, all gone!

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 12 points 2 years ago (3 children)

All my bodily functions smells nice, sort of perfume-like.

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I have a set of mental buttons i can press which lets me instantly fix some common flaws of being a human:

  • fall asleep
  • stop humming a song stuck in my head
  • stop feeling light headaches
  • postpone hunger for 3 hours
  • shut of tinnitus
  • make the itching stop
[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Mosquitos that drink my blood instantly die

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 13 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I can jump 10x my own height and can stick to walls

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Lets say, they grow to full ripe size every day

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I can see dead people

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 6 points 2 years ago

But you have to lie everytime you communicate

[–] DaaftRaaft@vlemmy.net 8 points 2 years ago (8 children)

Seeds i plant always grow to the full size plant in a day.

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