this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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And that it's genetic, so that it's passed down to all his descendants; and that all people who marry into the family also have it happen to them

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[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Granted. You've now learned you're a bastard child of Donald Trump.

[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago

(a) that's redundant

(b) it's a consequence I'm willing to accept

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

Congratulations, OP, you made them happier.

[–] TonyToniToneOfficial@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 years ago

This one's free. You get another go.

[–] dvoraqs@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Since it's genetic, this condition emerges in countless others who are not connected to the Trump family

[–] TuEstUnePommeDeTerre@midwest.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's too late, someone already got their wish millennia ago. You just can't actually taste with them. https://askabiologist.asu.edu/taste-outside-mouth

[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Taste buds, not just taste receptors.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

I think a similar issue might still apply if they're not connected properly to the taste processing centre in the brain. In fact, it might increase absorption in the gut with the extra surface area. So maybe they'd be able to pull more nutrition from their diet but end up a little more constipated.

[–] livus@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago

Wish granted, but as a monkey's paw the easiest way for me to grant this wish is to simply make it the case for all humans.

[–] Asafum 2 points 2 years ago

The man puts ketchup on his steak and lives off of McDonald's. He has no taste as it is lol

[–] skweetis@kbin.social 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There's a song for this, but it has a different vibe than you would think!

King Khan & BBQ Show - Tastebuds.

Lyrics

[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world -5 points 2 years ago

Wish granted, but the same thing happens to the poorest people in the country.