Danger Dust

The equipment they use for the testing is the MARS III Quantum Response System (Multiple Analytical Resonance Systems). If the use of the word Quantum is already worrying you, perhaps the reassurance that the device is “manufactured and listed as a medical scanning device class 11a” should help. Sadly, this is almost certainly wrong. Chances are they actually mean IIa as per the UK Government Classification of Medical Devices. This classification also doesn’t speak to whether the machine in question does what it claims, but more about the risk that it carries. The £25 I paid for my test may have sounded like a bargain initially, but it seems that I paid a quarter of the price of buying the machine itself as it can be found for less than £100 on Amazon – tempting!

Food intolerance is of course a real thing, and there’s useful guidance from the NHS on how it might be diagnosed and treated. If you think you may have some form of this, or something else which is causing your symptoms, then please keep your hair intact, put down your wallet, pick up the phone, and call a real doctor.