this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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Realistic Expectations
Sometimes realistic is way lower than you are led to believe.
Sometimes what you are led to believe is also more closely related to some sales or marketing person's life goals than your own.
Yeah, I would love to know how many people genuinely want to ride a Ferrari in this case, and how many are willing to live a life from the magazine cover, only to be disappointed if they ever get there.
It's very hard to see past the marketing, the social media and the fakeness that we swim in every day to realize that "average" is exceptional when it comes to people you have connection with, and realistic is beautiful when you're happy with someone.
Very hard to pass this message on to porn-addicted boys right now, part of why it's hard to talk sense into this current generation of man-o-sphere babies who rather be helpless victims of progressive politics than admit they're just horny kids who need to talk to real people more and get a handle on their rumination.
Damn, I can hear this image
I'm surprised at your age you can hear anything. 🧓
Welcome to being old, fellow oldie. How's oldness olding up for you.
I was depressed in high school and talking to my mom about happiness and one of the things she said to me, was that often real happiness comes from learning to be happy with being content.
At the time I honestly found the thought kind of depressing, but it stuck with me and I've only seen it to be truer and truer as I've gotten older.
Better than what my mom told my depressed teenage ass: "not every one can be happy" and "suicide is something weak cowards think about". Thanks mom.
I hope you know that what your mom said to you is not the whole truth. "suicide is something weak cowards think about" is true, but you don't have to be a weak coward to think about suicide. "not every one can be happy" doesn't mean you and your loved ones are destined to not be happy.
For anyone reading this you should know if you have suicidal or depresssed thoughts you are NOT weak or a coward despite what this person (or my mom) says.
You can't help feeling like shit and want the pain to stop. It does NOT say anything about you, other than you are suffering. Fuck anyone else who says otherwise.
Survive another day.
Not to mention, in many situations suicidal feelings can be interpreted as a desire to mercy-kill oneself, which is more reflective of self respect than cowardice.
Learning to live beside chronic suicidal feelings can look like staring it in the face every day and working to focus on the "mercy" part over the "kill" part.
Its kind of a two-wolves situation, I think -- but neither of those wolves are cowards.
Anon reinvents stoicism
So this is a prequel to this one
Isn't it more just appreciating the small joys in life? If thats complicated enough that it has to be a whole philosiphy then I think we're fucked as a species.
It is just that, but it is also a good chunck of stoicism.
You don't sell books to teenage boys and 20-somethings by telling them they need to be more appreciative of small blessings, not when they're so horny that they can't think straight. You gotta sell them the idea that they can embrace all the same toxic traits that are making them miserable, but with a branding that sounds legitimate.
Yeah that's actually hedonism
Most young dudes who subscribe to "stoicism" think it means getting a square jaw from the square jaw store and then not showing happiness about anything. Like they already do, but now with self-help terminology backing it.
I'd love to see a new movement where guys learn to express overwhelming joy at small things in life and can be genuine with each other about literally anything rather than making every moment together the Sarcasm Olympics.
helping with dishes at home = happy
Nice try, mom.
Good start, anyone who wishes can use a level-up of this:
You. Will. Die
So might as well enjo the ride while it lasts
Compared to known universe, you are less than a spec, you mean nothing. Everything means nothing. So might as well enjoy what you like
Yeah. I like that
It doesn't matter that nothing matters because you can make your own meaning.
Nah, that's a road to hell. I will always know this "meaning" is my creation. So either I won't take it seriously or force myself to become dumb enough to believe my own fairy tales
It's like being immersed in a good movie or game. You know it's not real, but it still has meaning and is worth playing/watching.
Doesn't make sense. I know I am not a game or movie, but realising "I am not this body and not this mind" is something that doesn't happen to most people
Nihilism isn't really a philosophy to live by, however. Humans seem to need purpose.
After losing my religion, I struggled with this for a while. I decided that taking care of my people was my purpose and gave my life meaning. None of the rest of it is my responsibility, not the big questions, society, any of it. As long as I'm taking care of my family and helping them be happy, I'm mostly content.
I can't comprehend why you are getting downvoted, please take my upvote
Speaking broadly, humans are very much capable of living without purpose, but that needs a stable ground and very balanced system - something that mostly does not taken care of, but that cannot mean to belittle what you are doing - the way you live, it is better than what so many people are doing with their lives (and in many ways much wiser), and I am glad you found the strength and willingness to live as you do. Thank you for living like this
IDK, I pissed off the hivemind on another post and all my comments have been downvoted. Which is kind of fun, actually. Feels like Lemmy is becoming a real internet community.
Anyhow, yeah. We're capable of living without purpose but I do think most of us need that purpose to feel content. It's a trope, Man's Search for Meaning and Purpose. This is just my answer to it. My answer is a lazy shortcut, I'm kind of over spirituality and most philosophy. If none of it matters, then I pick what matters to me and makes me happy.
I like some people and the natural world the best, I define my purpose as taking care of them. It's a conscious decision but it does actually bring me existential peace.
You. Will. Die.
Speak for yourself. That said, I'm still enjoying the ride.
So, you will not?
Live forever or die trying
I'm not intending to. It's the only way I can have peace and quiet is to outlive all of you 🤣
It really is not. But I don't mind watching you try :)
Lost everything in my life at one point, started over.
Now I live by post-apocalypse rules for happiness:
Roof? Check. Food? Check. Not bleeding? Hell yeah, gonna be a good day.
Lost everything in my life at one point, started over.
Should have saved more frequently 🤣
Its depending your happiness on your own state of being vs depending on external validation for your happiness.
One day "it might not be much but I am genuinely content and happy"
I've started to enjoy my mornings (helps that it's summer).
But just chilling in the morning with a tea I have found is a great way to start the day. Being rushed and stressed first thing in the morning is a recipe for a shit day.
fried egg + rice is the best breakfast, fuck every shape of pancake
Pancakes aren't breakfast food anyways. They're dinner. You make slightly thicker crepes. You roll them up with bacon bits and blueberry preserve.
i will not
Two or three heaping tablespoons of bacon. One of blueberry.
no!!!!
It's significantly better.
Oh, and maple syrup is still a nice little addition.
OpP adjusted to life expectations