this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 165 points 2 years ago (9 children)

Tried eating a piano once but it tasted a bit sharp

[–] KingGordon@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Me too. The flavor left me flat.

[–] MiloReid@lemmy.ca 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Piano sommelier’s recommend tasting upright, with proper posture, to sustain the best notes of ivory, maple, mahogany, and rosewood. Cracking the lid before dining is crucial, and the only way to truly hammer home some of the more subtle dissonance between flavours.

Edit: If you find your piano is a bit too “stringy”, you may have to cook it longer. Young, over-confident, plucky chef’s often make this mistake.

Edit 2: over-cooking can also dampen the flavour, fyi.

Edit 3: one last thing, if the staff haven’t let piano rest, you’ll also want to pedal back your expectations, better to just hit up any other bar and maybe try a classical italian coda.

Edit 4: sorry, typo… soda.

[–] hemmes@vlemmy.net 4 points 2 years ago

You son of a bitch… /s

[–] 4am@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Remember to use the tuning fork, not the salad fork.

[–] FiskFisk33@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] banksymimosa@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

"Lotito holds the record for the 'strangest diet' in the Guinness Book of Records. He was awarded a brass plaque by the publishers to commemorate his abilities. He ate his award."

[–] tentphone@lemmy.fmhy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

#List of unusual items consumed

At least:[3][8][12]

45 door hinges 18 bicycles 15 shopping carts 7 TV sets 6 chandeliers 2 beds 1 pair of skis 1 computer 1 Cessna 150 light aircraft 1 waterbed (full of water) 500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once 1 coffin (with handles) 1 Guinness award plaque

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[–] DanglingFury@lemmy.world 52 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nothing ethical about it. It asks for things you "can" eat, not things that you "would" eat. Luckily there are no pictures of people.

[–] CaptainApathetic@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You can eat a piano, just have to do it a small piece at a time.

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[–] twelvefloatinghands@lemmy.world 36 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"can" is only a matter of attitude and determination

[–] SickIcarus@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Everything is edible once!

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Oh yeah? Can you eat a star or the concept of love or your own entire head?

[–] twelvefloatinghands@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Not with that attitude!

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[–] LimitedWard@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago

Love me some Panda Express

[–] iRyu@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This legitimately told me I was wrong after I clicked all the burgers

[–] archonet@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

It knows the true nutritional value found in your average baby grand piano.

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[–] nei7jc@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago

It says "can", not "should"

[–] Neuron@lemm.ee 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

We're getting closer and closer to "You're in a desert, walking along when you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and flip it over on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

[–] BrokenToU@lemmy.fmhy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

Is this were we come up blasting?

[–] Guster@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Had it ask me to pick animals - and there were pictures of chicken wings in there lol

[–] Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

I mean it was an animal once

[–] Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I mean it was an animal once

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[–] Qwazpoi@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago

Missed opportunity for joke about eating pussy, although that term is probably what would cause the algorithm to do this to begin with

[–] mremugles@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] reverie@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It only asks if I CAN eat the piano, which makes it viable as a correct choice as well

[–] curiosityLynx@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

Are you telling us you're suffering from Pica?

[–] Bushwhack@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Don’t tell me what I can’t do! - John Locke

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I wouldn't eat a whole one.

[–] Bushwhack@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not with that attitude you won’t

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 4 points 2 years ago

I'm currently only eating ethically sourced food, so no ebony or ivory for me, despite how well they go together.

[–] Lem_Lemoncloak@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

I got this prompt recently and it accepted my answer when I included the panda.

[–] jennraeross@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Even more of a dilemma if you’re veggie

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[–] eodur@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

This gets considerably more confusing after watching a few episodes of "Is It Cake?"

[–] Bushwhack@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So everything but the piano. Even then, it’s more of a “don’t tell me what I can’t do” type attitude.

[–] FiskFisk33@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Bushwhack@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

That was a wild Wikipedia. I laughed when I saw he ate his own award plaque.

[–] kemsat@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

YeH fair. I could eat a cat or panda, depending on how desperate I am.

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago

I'm eyeing up that piano. A little worcestershire sauce on the keys... mmm now I'm hungry!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 8 points 2 years ago

Panda Express.

Now with real Panda.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.de 7 points 2 years ago

I just had the same fucking one and that's what I thought.

[–] MrMusAddict@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Are those all AI generated images? They seem wonky.

Gee, imagine if we trained our upcoming AI overlords that you can eat pianos and pandas, but not hamburgers, lol.

[–] reverie@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

It might backfire. They could end up feeding us piano key/panda nutrient blends in our cages once they enslave us all.

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[–] manitcor@lemmy.intai.tech 4 points 2 years ago

apex predator intensifies

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

Just eat your phone

[–] Hondolor@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I heard of a man eating a whole table once, chip by chip. A piano isn't off the table for those who are brave enough

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[–] BarbudoGrande@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

"Amanda? Come on, dude. I mean, that's probably not even her real name."

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