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Koala Krime (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 years ago by Facelikeapotato@lemmy.ml to c/shitposting@lemmy.ml

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[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

We’re basically surrounded by Koala assassins pinning their killings on humans.

[–] metallic_substance@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

You bring up an excellent point. The most terrifying answer to the original question "what crime scene has both?" is:

All of them. Every one.

[–] sincle354@kbin.social 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

rumble rumble rumble off in the distance
bottle based drum fill
I COME FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER

[+] WtfEvenIsExistence@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

[deleted]

[–] Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You laugh, but those guys can get violent... I remember when I moved in to my current house, there's a gum tree outside in my backyard, with a family of koalas. The amount of times I got woken up by their shrieking was unreal. Those guys are like banshees when they're going at it. It's basically mating and brawling at the same time.

I don't hear much of them anymore, but that's not surprising - one of them appears to have disappeared.

[–] jopepa@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Drop bears are the ones that escaped the labs, right?

[–] Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi 3 points 2 years ago

Nah, those are the ones that decided it wasnt enough to be the abuser in an abusive relationship and it was time to take their anger out on other species.

[–] leavemealone@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Probably happened in the Coca Koala factory.

[–] zurohki@aussie.zone 3 points 2 years ago

I see !dadjokes@lemmy.world is leaking again.

[–] Lepsea@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 years ago

Just a normal day in Australia

[–] Arghblarg@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 years ago

Wellllll lots of them have Chlamydia right? So I'm guessing sex crimes :p

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Love to read a fun fact that if you thought about it any more than not at all would tell you that no evidence can be derived from fingerprints

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

koala burglar that makes off with the Fort Knox of eucalyptus leaves and frames a hapless human

[–] LetterboxPancake@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

The Killer Koala Association (formerly known as Drop Bear Ltd) doesn't like your questions.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

I always knew that Kwicky bastard was up to no good.

[–] Ralis@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 years ago

This kind of crime scene

Suace: HxH