Legal advice for serious cat problems

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The original was posted on /r/legalcatadvice by /u/KinkyRenee on 2025-02-23 00:44:50+00:00.

I, Waffle the Butt, have done a best crime ever! This morning, my human did not wake to feed me on time! I sang the song of our people and bapped her face, and she rolled to look at her light box and said, "Waffles! It's 5am! Not 6! No breakfast!" And then she fell asleep again!

This was unacceptable so I sang more and bapped more and she IGNORED me! So I went went off and ate some fluffs off the floor hehehe

I then went back to my human and threw them ups all over her pillow, right next to her face! Hahaha!

She, of course, immediately got up but then threatened to withhold my brekkie! I can sue?

Also... GO CRIMEZ!