me_irl

Or, the first is what you want, the second is what you actually have capacity for, at least after work and chores are done

Not so sure about that. I pretty much managed to achieve the second part, and generally I’m very happy with it. I don’t give a shit about what society wants me to do here.

But I’m still a mammal that needs some kind of social interactions from time to time. There’s no denying that it’s some kind of basic need that humans have. I don’t like it, but it’s just the way it is. So you need to at least have some sort of social life. I think the issue is that my need for social life is so small that it’s not enough to keep a friendship/relationship alive. So it becomes annoying to find people you enjoy talking to.

Not to mention that just doing nothing all day is fucking boring. Like really, really, dreadfully boring. There’s a reason why you get depression when being unemployed for too long. You have to have some level of stress in order to not go insane.

I've been doing the second for years and it's left me deeply unhappy.

Yes. All that interferes with you being a disposable flesh robot with the your only purpose being generating value for someone else.

You could be the someone else but your priorities must change to oppressing others to generate value.

Every workday I pine for another vacation day. Every vacation day I pine for more vacation days. Wait.