this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
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Mental Health

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I plan on blowing my brains out soon. (pricefield.org)
submitted 1 year ago by skymtf@pricefield.org to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I've posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.

In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.

Another thing is I'm an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y'all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y'all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.

I just really don't see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn't much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.

My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It's crazy to think 22 years ends like this.

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[–] CrypticCoffee@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ignore those that don't agree with your plans. Never let folk impose their morality on you.

You want to go to college? What do you want to study?

Life can throw you some bad cards all at once at times. Solving those little problems can make it less overwhelming and more manageable.

Attraction is a subjective thing. You build a life you're happy and confident in and people will find that attractive. Looking at your picture, I would be amazed if you didn't find someone attracted to you. Be patient, it'll come.

The hormones has been pointed out as possibly having an impact. Maybe give yourself a few months break to see how you feel, then go again. I'm not advocating stopping or quitting, just a pause to tackle a few other life issues before going on with your journey. Life is a marathon and not a sprint and sometimes a rest helps get through that next bit.

Also, sometimes anti-depressants can help at the lowest times. Worth considering. Counselling could be better if it's something you can get access to.