this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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I have a set of mental buttons i can press which lets me instantly fix some common flaws of being a human:
You fall asleep easily, but you have wicked sleep apnea.
You can stop humming songs but it dials the intrusive thoughts up to 11
Good news, your light headaches have been replaced with moderate migraines.
You can postpone your hunger for 3 hours, but anything you consume within that window you permanently develop a sickness taste aversion to.
The ringing in your ear has been replaced with the Wilhelm scream.
The itching has stopped. The only price was IBS.