this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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Honestly so happy I’m married, I’m sorry for all of y’all. Dystopian times.
But hey to add my two cents: I think that fear is marketable, so women are over fed on paranoia.
At the same time, porn and propaganda have put bad expectations in some percentile of dumb men.
Both sexes are generally out of social practice, and societal trust is at an all time low. Most people are nice, but most people are also awkward.
So get out there and meet some people, don’t even do so romantically, just go learn how to interact with people, form some friendships.
This is the case with literally everything.
Used to hear about "no-go zones" in Stockholm in my local news a lot, areas where even the Swedish police were afraid to go in to. Then a friend of mine moved to Stockholm and started going to "the worst no-go zone" every weekend to get fresh produce. The only time he felt in danger was when he stumbled upon a drunk countryman.
Going out nowadays doesn't work anymore. Things have changed dramatically in the last few decades.
Well what defines going out? There are plenty of board game meet ups, even if you don’t especially like board games I would posit that it’s not an objectively negative experience; so if you must hold you nose and go anyway, do so.
Secondly, although this is coming from my experience in America, so your millage may vary, there’s tons of outdoor activities and groups: go for a hike, go backpacking.
You don’t need special equipment, you don’t need to buy anything. Just a water bottle, backpack, tent/tarp, and some non perishable foods and you’re good to go.
It’s true that the convenient third places of yesterday have seemingly vanished; but people are still out there.
I used to hike a lot but these days it's incredibly difficult to find people to hike with, they're usually at least twenty years older than me and not in the best shape anymore which rules out difficult routes. And everywhere else there are masses of stupid tourists and influencers stumbling around in their flip-flops (Because of course you wear flip-flops in the alps!), throwing trash everywhere and yelling into their smartphones when filming themselves which ruins the experience. Board and card game groups also died out in the early 2010s, that was just a short hype. A lot of things disappeared without replacement.
Hmm well I can’t speak for Europe, but plenty of chill people to go hiking with in the US, plus it might not be the most challenging stuff maybe but I’ve hiked out of the grand canyon with my friends 70 yo grandma so if you want the social aspect you can still do challenging things just maybe go a little slower. Also again don’t know about Europe but there are like five weekly board game meetups in my decent sized city.
Going out to talk with people is now impossible because everyone busy for themselves .