I usually was lucky enough to get hyper fixated just before exams due to my anxiety. So I was a straight-A student. But it was always a struggle against myself. And it kept getting harder as I got into college, and then university. I also constantly got the "not reaching my potential" line even though I was very good academically, since I sucked in the regular classes and only shined in exams. Basically, they thought that I could do even better if I could perform that well without even trying. (I was trying my best, or least as much as my monkey brain would allow me.)

I remember when I joined high school, people thought I was cheating in exams because I barely did homework (it wasn't graded, so didn't feel any pressure to do it well) and was frequently distracted. But soon enough they realized that it's just the way I was.

Even now, I need to give myself forced deadlines by promising my colleagues/superiors so that the anxiety of embarrassment forces me to actually do my work. I want to get a diagnosis, but you guys know how hard it is for us to get motivated for that.

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've never heard someone describe the hyperfixating at the last second due to anxiety and it working out (until, for me, in college, it DIDNT) but you nailed it

It was like playing a game of chicken against myself