chat

Since the intensification of the starvation I've socially retreated even worse, I have no interest in talking when I can't say what I'm thinking. I think partly I finally made an account on here because I need some interaction with sane people.

I feel like I do when Syria fell. I knew people there, I don't want to elaborate, but like they were just citizens. I have not heard from them since. I regret that I did not learn much about Syria from them, as we were mostly talking about Palestine.

And yeah my life sucks personally too, but I suppose I mostly roll my eyes at it compared to the other shit going on in the world. People here have lost their fucking minds with transphobia, they think we're all in some groomer cult or something, bringing up kids when they start yelling at me for no reason in the street, when the reality is I don't interact with children at all. Nobody I know has any because we're too gay. And we can't afford to raise them anyway. And I've internalized their bullshit so I'm afraid to be around children. But I think their accusations are confessions. It's getting really hard not to just hate the general public. I only seem to make friends among the people who are also marginalized.

There are a lot of people quietly opposing the genocide because of the obvious consequences. I sometimes feel like if we weren't "quiet" we would realize how many of us are really on the same page and fucking actually do something but any time I get a burst of courage it's usually extinguished by my supposed comrades who don't want me to rock the boat in case it makes a group who overwhelmingly support the genocide uncomfortable.

But yeah. There is a very weird "air".