I (24F) met a guy (37M) at a party half a year ago. He’s Japanese and I am an Indian living in Japan. We talked and exchanged socials but that was about it. After that we met in several other occasions, organized by mutual friends and a lot of times he invited me to various events too. I never really thought much about it because the age gap between us is insanely high.
A week ago he asked me if I am free and would like to go to a cafe with him. He didn’t say it was a date but i kinda think it was. This was our first opportunity to actually get to know more about each other’s personal life. I asked him about his job, he told me that he handles his parent’s real estate company and is quite rich. But he feels like his job is not very rewarding so he wants to go to abroad. I asked him if he is planning to get married so he said he feels it is still to early for him to get married. Then he asked me why i am not dating anybody yet. I told him i was too busy to date anyone but now that i have found a job, I will move to a new city and look for a suitable partner there. I am also planning to have a lot of children so I don’t want to delay it a lot. He said he also wants to have many children, but he didn’t seem bothered at all with his age being much higher than mine. Anyways, i think i made it pretty clear that i am only planning to look for a boyfriend in the city i am moving to, while he said he’s planning to stay closer to his family in this city and go abroad temporarily.
He still paid for everything that we ate and asked me out on a date again.
My question is, if he knows that I am leaving this city in two months and not planning to date anyone here, then is it safe to assume he asked me out again because he wants to sleep with me? I do not want to sleep with him, i am definitely physically attracted to him because he’s very handsome but i am a virgin and i want my first time to be with a long term partner atleast.
Is there any comfortable way to bring up this topic without making me sound like a narcissist who assumed a guy wants to sleep with her just because he asked her out🥲.
Please help me out
As a happily married 39 year old I look at the modern dating scene with horror. I think that he probably doesn't "just" want to sleep with you, he probably just likes having someone like you in his life. People can be complex, we construct these binaries that simplify things, reality is more complicated. If you enjoy hanging out with a person, do that. Don't lead him on just to get to go on nice dates, and also be aware that he might be a pig that does just want to sleep with you. Maybe he mentioned going on trips to try to entice you into a relationship. Don't get into a position where you feel like you owe him anything.
The age difference is pretty big but there's a lot of loneliness in the world. So maybe talk to your mutual friends, does he have a history of chasing younger women?
Wanting to sleep with someone doesn’t make them a pig. Insisting on it does.
It's weird how quickly lemmy shifts from communist revolutionaries to tradwives as soon as casual sex is brought up.
It's because nobody on lemmy ever has sex
50:50 asexuals and incels. The asexuals are nicer, but the incels make better memes.
Thank you very much! He never asked me to go on a trip with him and honestly I would say no if he did. He offered to pay but I offered to split the bill. When he refused, I bought dessert for both of us, I hope that made it atleast subtle that I am not trying to use him for his money, in any way