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how do i stop being so obsessed with a fictional character? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by classybattery@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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i really like a fictional character so much it hurts and i have this friend who i make stories with with that character and she's the only one who likes him as much, probably more than me. i don't want to be that way.

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[–] hyacin@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 days ago

This.

I'm like, 44 or something. Have experienced the same. Not like, three years ago, but not when I was your age either ... somewhere in between. Looking back on it, it points to a very (now) clear gap I had in my life and relationships at the time, that the character, if real, and, if interested in me (or perhaps more accurately, were I the other party in the film), would have filled, perfectly. There is a reason they resonate so deeply with you. Identifying it can take a bit of the edge off - but actually finding it in real life (in a healthy way, in a healthy relationship, etc., etc.) is an even better solution.

The absolute best solution is, upon identifying it, figuring out how to provide it for yourself, so you're not demanding or expecting others to provide it for you - but that's like, super bonus points, hidden secret level shit that most people don't achieve their entire lives.