this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
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Transfem

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Despite how a lady at the bookstore “struggled with” my pronouns and bounced off “he” several times before settling on “they” cause apparently she couldn’t bring herself to say “she.”

Shit’s hard out there.

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[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

I am glad to have been of help!

With the trans community being under so much pressure from outside it really has negative impacts inside the community crushing down the narratives into only the most defensible to cis people. We repeat them so often it's likely we'll internalize that framework and that's not great for us I think. We defend things so often in terms of nessesity and harm prevention and medicalization of the trans experience that trans joy and the nature of creatures to chase the conditions they instinctually know are the most conducive to happiness get lost.

If the cis folk understood the first thing about being trans, really understood, they wouldn't try and stop us from doing what we want. It's only because they get the ick about body modifications that we are forced to be beggars and question ourselves if we are adequately poorly off enough for rescue by a system that really only cares about survival, not quality of life. We shouldn't have to be dying to be worth care or the grace to be ourselves. We don't have to follow any specific playbook or treatment plan. We are not sick. It's hard to resist but don't let them get in your head and make you start looking at yourself as a paitent and not a deserving seeker of comfort and joy. You don't need to find joy perfect and whole to make it worthy of the risk or the cost.