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I do so much better in small groups then I do 1 on 1 and I hate it (hexbear.net)

submitted 5 days ago by BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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Just sucks wanting to/actually hanging out with someone 1 on 1 and there's silence and I worry they aren't having a good time with me. Then we bring another person in and everyone is talking a lot more and seem more comfortable. Why am I weird alone with people :/ tbh makes me very worried about dating or being in a relationship too. Even in a platonic friendship it makes me feel very anxious about what they think of me and our relationship. Like idk I like you I just don't have much to say but then suddenly do when there's more people?? I don't get it so how is anyone else going to

inb4 autism

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[–] profgrumpypants@midwest.social 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Counter to that, I am the opposite. I like one on one so very much more. About 100xs more. I will do crowds. I will do talks. I don't really care. I just enjoy the experience of a person, more than of a people.

Also, don't worry about dating. Don't worry about how you're making friends feel. Real friends tend to just want to hang, the rest is ancillary. I mean, don't be a f*ckface. But also, if you're just hanging out, I don't think there's been a time I have been required to BE entertaining to the people I love. If I am, it's just out of love, not commitment. You might want to explore theses feelings a bit more in a space you can write in private. Somewhere you can be absolutely dog-shit raw with yourself, and then reflect on your answers and try and work through them. You also might just be facing issues that everyone is kind of stuck with right now. Life is so itchy nowadays.

Also you might just need to talk with someone. Maybe as a way to move some big emotions around that are currently harming your well being.

But I am not you, so I can't really tell you what to do. Just hope you find what you need. If you're young, stuff does get easier as you get older. Only because you care less about stuff that you can't control, or it kills you.

So best of luck, you'll be fine.