this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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Autism
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It's more than that. There are lots of things I want to do that I just can't do. I've spent a lot of time and effort learning to program, and suck at it. I can't program the things I want to make, and it feels bad that I'm no good at it. I spent months trying to learn to do one thing and while I reached the point I could copy and paste code that would do it, I had no clue why the code did what it did. I wanted to understand why it was so complicated, when what I wanted to do was from my human point of view, so simple. I got frustrated and ended up shelving it, and never went back.
I still get frustrated when I think about it. There is a indie game dev festival where people will get together to code games from scratch in like 24 hours. Manlybadasshero has shown some of their works on his youtube channel. There are people out there who are so good at coding and I'm having this monumental challenge with the basic stuff. It just drives home how dumb you are.