this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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Cyberstuck
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A place to post your Cybertruck fails! We're here to make fun of this hunk of shit and throw as much shade as we can to that garbage bag of a human elon.
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Similar experiences with me except army.
Load all their Gucci kit into a ruck. March 12km out to the middle of bumfuck nowhere huffing and puffing cause your shit weighs 80lbs before they gave you ammo, water and rations. Now you're wearing battle rattle and hiking up Mount Fuckyou carrying a load of bullshit.
Get to the bivouac, drop your shit and you didn't bother to figure out how your new inflatable mattress works instead of a foam hobo-pad the army issues you... Oh and you forgot to pack your bivvie bag and the ground is wet so you're trying to suck and fuck your way into someone's spare kit... Oh and you didn't bring a headlamp for sentry duty and now I gotta explain the the Sarge why my 2IC is such a useless bag of milk and needs to see a medic cause they cooked their lower back lugging their kitchen sink up a mountain for a three day mission.
Motherfucker, if you listened to me and packed the bare essentials and threw your spare kit in the truck you wouldn't be having this problem. Next time, make sure your goddamn flashlight has batteries and no, you can't use my battery pack to charge your cellphone. If my phone dies what am I gonna look at while baking in the 40°C blue rocket? The same childish graffiti of cocks? Brother, I drew those cocks. I don't need to look at them.
Might I add: My ass is 230lbs and I ain't got a gat dang problem lugging my shit up there. Yet these young dumb lads think they're the Morningstar's gift to the corps and yet here they are crying to me that their balls are so chafed they're bleeding.
Hey I feel you. I'm both saddened and relieved to have attained this level of militariness. The environment makes the person.
A big part of why this kind of stuff flies that often, soldiers look for little comforts. We want a nice chair to sit in or a comfier hole to lie in at the end of the day. You learn through trial and error what you do and don't need. Our kit is often insufficient, lowest bidder type stuff that it ends up just not serving the purpose it's designed to do.
Part of it is also leading a horse to water but not being able to make it drink. I can tell a subordinate they won't need their winter jacket for October but hey, what if they get cold? Ultimately, newer soldiers end up over packing and over burdening their section until they learn how to pack. I prioritise undergarments, socks and water. Trying to leave as much room for mission essential kit over comfort. But I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I've rucked three days across Sandy plains with a 12 pack in my bag so we could have some morale at the end of it. While other times I'm wet because I didn't want to pack the extra 1lb for rain pants.
A lot of the drilling you receive is about working as a team, how to move fast or silent, complete the mission under arduous circumstances. How you decide to get there is usually a personal decision. Your leaders are still responsible for your overall well-being but, like I said earlier. You can lead a horse to water.
Funny you mentioned internal frame rucksacks... Our current bags are internal frame, really spacious and easy to pack but they SUCK when you're wearing your armour, and ammo and everything else. They just don't fit right and hurt more than they help. They also promote what I talked about before which is over packing and without any kit in them weigh 15lbs already. The older rucks were external frame, smaller, lighter and fit less kit. They had their merits.
Quality and fit definitely help with your comfort when you've only got two feet and a heartbeat.