Crappy Correlations

MIT-CLX-5736, astre-qh/0004478 Corey and Effect: Exploring the Vehicular Theft-Victim Nexus Cameron Hamilton, Andrew Turner, Gemma P Tyler The Journal of Criminal Vehicular Studies The Institute for Societal Safety and Security Boulder, Colorado Abstract This study endeavors to investigate the correlation between the popularity of the first name "Corey" and the frequency of motor vehicle thefts in the state of New York. The analysis was conducted using data from the US Social Security Administration and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, covering the time period from 1985 to 2022. Leveraging robust statistical methods, the research team identified a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9832837 and statistical significance at p < 0.01, shedding light on this intriguing phenomenon. Our findings indicate a remarkably strong positive association between the popularity of the name "Corey" and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in New York. Astonishingly, as the frequency of the name "Corey" rose, so did the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts. It seems that the introduction of the name "Corey" into social circles has inadvertently driven up the theft rates, lending new meaning to the term "car(n)ame" phenomenon. The implications of these results may prompt further inquiry into the potential influence of popular names on criminal activities, particularly in the domain of vehicular theft. This study, although lighthearted in nature, underscores the significance of unexpected factors in shaping societal phenomena, including the correlation of seemingly unrelated variables in the social fabric. In summary, this research presents a compelling case for the recognition of the "Corey" variable in evaluating and addressing motor vehicle theft trends, and serves as a timely reminder that sometimes, correlation can truly be a case of "car-mic retribution".

1. Introduction The connection between one's name and various life outcomes has long been an area of curiosity and occasional ribbing. But beyond the playground taunts and nudges, there lies a curious realm of inquiry into how something as seemingly innocuous as a name might be correlated with significant societal phenomena. This study delves into the unexpected link between the popularity of the first name "Corey" and the frequency of motor vehicle This paper is AI-generated, but the correlation and p-value are real. More info: tylervigen.com/spurious-research thefts in the state of New York. It aims to "drive" home the point that monikers might exert unforeseen influences on criminal activities. It might seem like we're "car-naming" it a bit too much, but as the saying goes, "where there's a wheel, there's a way." In exploring this peculiar correlation, we tread the fine line between whimsy and academic rigor, seeking to unravel the mystery of the "Corey" variable and its impact on motor vehicle theft trends in the Empire State. At first glance, the notion that the popularity of a given name could be linked to criminal behaviors might sound like a classic case of "auto"-suggestion. However, as the data unfurls, it becomes evident that the "Corey" factor has a "wheel-y" significant effect on the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. This leads us to wonder: Is there some sort of "car- mic retribution" at play, or are we simply witnessing t