this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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Privacy
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I have been thinking about how or if I would track my own children. I do not have any at the moment though.
I think the only system that would work with tracking and still be ethical is a system with accountability.
They need to know that I would never check unless there was an emergency. So we'd have to have some sort of immutable log that they can check regularly. So they know if I checked their location. It should not be like a panopticon. in which they don't know if the parent is checking their location or not. That changes behaviour. Even with the trust that I would not check, just me having the option would alter behaviour probably.
Youth and kids are independent individuals with their own rights to privacy, autonomy, right to select their own friends and acquaintences, right to freedom of expression and movement, right to make mistakes, etc. If they are thought right and have a high trust bond with their parents, preferably with little judgement, then it will probably be fine and most issues can be solved.
Gps Geofencing shock collar
Yeah making it optional for them to turn on because they are still entitled to privacy even though they are children is the key to building trust. Them trusting you as a parent is the most essential thing here, there is always a way around something, you want them being honest by choice rather than sneaky or you forcing "honesty" by coercion.
We always did that from when the kids were younger and my now adult daughter still chooses to turn it on when going on dates.
A reciprocal arrangement would also work. My little terror will soon be at the point of having a mobile phone. My wife and I already share locations in real time. They will get the same arrangement. We can check on them, however, they can also check on our location. Moving on from this, in the future will be a negotiation, not an ultimatum.
It's also worth noting however, that a level of accountability is required with phones and social media for children. Knowing that mum or dad might go through their phone to check things makes them think about what they are doing. It is also required to make sure they don't err too badly. The key is to be open, clear and reasonable in your requirements of them. Also, never mock or belittle. To you, it might be a cute minor kids spat. To them, it's the life or death of their entire social life.
If you have a good relationship with your children, these will be a non-issues. Mutual respect (not fear) is a FAR better position to take, parenting wise.
Knowing that mum or dad might go through their phone to check things makes them ~~think about what they are doing~~ spend 5 minutes researching how to hide stuff. Better to rely on trust then on pure force alone
There's trust in intent and trust in judgement. My goal is to train them so that I can trust their intent. Any search will be to cover lapses in judgement. If they are hiding things, then that is intentional. If they have thought about it enough to hide it, then at least they have thought about it.
My intent is to spot things like grooming, or bullying (at a level they can't cope with). Things they might not understand the severity at the time. It gives us a nuclear option, it won't be used lightly.