this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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WomensStuff

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Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.

Rules…

  1. Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (eg non binary) is welcome
  2. Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
  3. Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever. 4( No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.

founded 1 month ago
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LadyButterfly@lemmy.world
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[Women Only Community Men Please Don't Comment] Men In Replies (lemmus.org)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Greercase@lemmus.org to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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I've been more active in online spaces recently and I am just astounded at the number of times I'll be several comments deep with another person and a man will just jump in responding to us both with the least relevant most inflammatory take. The gender of the person I'm talking to is never relevant, but it's always a guy that interjects. I know the internet is a public forum, and I guess there's more guys on some platforms than women, but it's just shocking how often it has happened. We'll be talking about baking and some guy will come in and say that it actually costs more to bake bread at home or clothes and some guy will come in to say actually both our styles are bad. It's not even a sexist thing I don't think, I just think women are socialized more with a live and let live mentality and men are socialized to believe that everyone should hear their opinion. I don't really have any solutions. I always want to reply with something snarky about how we're not asking him or how his comment doesn't need to be shared, but I don't want to invite harassment. Their comments get upvotes or reacts in agreement and it just feels targeted. Like two people were having a casual chat and this guy comes in and derails and gets positive attention for it. I'm just venting now because it just happened in a gaming discord and I don't really have people irl who understand how these communities are helpful and how that kind of community reaction is ostracizing.

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[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Maybe if this community only wants women they should defederate and setup some kind of ID system

[–] Greercase@lemmus.org 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm glad they federated. I would not have found this community otherwise and Lemmy is so small I don't think it'd make sense to make the community harder to find. I wonder if they can set up a flared users only situation. I'm not sure what things look like on the mod side of Lemmy though.

[–] Alice@hilariouschaos.com 2 points 2 days ago

I think the lemmy app called Connect and some others can do this

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So clearly there are benefits of federation

OP seems to want all the good parts of being inclusive and exclusive without accepting any of the bad parts of those things.

[–] Greercase@lemmus.org 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I am OP. I said nothing about inclusive or exclusive spaces. The brackets in my title were added because it's a community rule and I was understandably asked to add that.

What in the post suggests anything about inclusive or exclusive anything? I was noticing a pattern and sharing my annoyance at it. I also shared what I believe to be the cause of the pattern. I did not say it shouldn't be allowed or that they were bad people. I also made it clear I didn't believe it to be sexism and that the gender of the person I would originally be speaking to seemed largely irrelevant. Not sure how this would be interpreted as exclusionary.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It was just the title that sets a misandric tone.

I wasn't aware of that rule.

That's insane lmao

[–] Greercase@lemmus.org 7 points 2 days ago

Women only spaces have been a popular and important part of feminist and women's movement globally. It's ok if it's not right for you but it's reductive to act like it serves no purpose. It's important for marginalized communities to be able to gather and discuss their experiences.

I think it's nice that the mod has given their time to fostering a community of women supporting women and it's insulting for you to call it insane. It's part of a long tradition of women carving out space for themselves. She's not mandating you participate. Just politely asking people to follow the rules. It's like calling it insane that a book club only allow people who have read the book to talk about it. Others can listen in and talk about it elsewhere if needed but book club is for people who read the book to discuss it with other people who also read it.

Just a basic overview if you're honestly unfamiliar with the concept: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-only_space

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