this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Talk about what, though?
"Hello, I would like to give you peanuts sometimes when you're sad. Do you accept these terms?"
What is he consenting to that he's not already aware of?
Speaking of pavlovian conditioning, the reason I don't like casinos, loot boxes in video games, gacha mechanics, etc., is not that I think those people haven't consented to their money being taken from them. I just don't think those are good institutions. Or practices. Whichever word applies. They take more than they give, and I don't think that's fair.
You're grossly misrepresenting what this is. She got desserts and noted him as food motivated. That's insulting. He only got happy because there was food for him to eat, really? No discussion of why he was sad before, just get him snacks and move on? Maybe talk to him and ask why he seemed upset before desert instead of just giving him a snack and hoping it's better.
The woman here is trying to change his mood or behavior through dog training techniques instead of figuring out why he feels or acts a certain way. Is he aware that she is literally treating him like a dog? It comes across as her caring about his behavior in the moment more than his overall mental health.
I don't know about you, but I love dessert.
So, 1, this doesn't answer my question about what it is he hasn't consented to.
2, how is it you know she's not interested in his life story?
Fair, but if I'm upset because I might lose my job or my mom is sick then that doesn't address any of those.
Ok let's answer that. Did she say "I'm going to treat you like a dog" and him agree? Did she say, "I'm giving you an m&m ever time you open up to encourage it" I doubt it and she never mentioned it. She simply does this as a manipulation technique without ever discussing "hey, I think we need to talk about you being comfortable being vulnerable."
Well she had the chance to say she actually talked about and addressed the problems upsetting him, but she never mentioned that at all. Just dog training strategies she uses on him without him being aware.
And what does this mean, exactly? You get the extra muffin she baked or something? You get to cuddle a lot?
She probably didn't say that, no, but I assume he can see this, like, with his eyes. If he doesn't want m&m's, why take them?
So, she hasn't told you via this tweet, therefore, ergo, concordantly, vice ve, she has never cared or asked about, like, his childhood or his mom.
You have to be purposefully blind at this point..... She noticed he was "food motivated" so now she gives him a treat when he's vulnerable to reinforce that behavior..... That is literally how you train a dog. Humans usually discuss things instead if they want behavior changed.
I feel like you have to be trolling. "If someone is being manipulated, why don't they just not be manipulated?" Things like this aren't always so obvious in practice when you are the one in the situation, and he may think it's an innocent offer with no hidden meaning. Most people don't assume their partner is trying to train them like an animal, not really where my head goes to when my partner offers me a snack. And if all of this is so obvious, then why not just talk about it?
She wrote multiple paragraphs, something as important as "and I talked to him about this" would be easy enough to add and clear up a whole lot. But what we see instead is nothing but her mentioning things she does to get him to do what she wants, like be vulnerable.
Yeah..? I just... you seem to think there's a difference between:
"Hi~ We noticed you were sad, and we made you cupcakes! Hope you feel better!" and
"Hi~ We noticed you were sad, and we made you cupcakes! Hope you feel better! (dog version)"
And I just... I don't know what that is! I'm trying my hardest here, man.
Like, we're talking about decades of human history here. Birthdays, and Christmases, and tipping your waiter, and end of year bonuses, and letting your kids take one day of school off, and celebrations for getting a new job or getting a big sale, and taking your friend out to a fancy dinner cause you want them to know they're special, and peace offerings to some neighbor you've been feuding with—how is any of this less dog-like than what we're talking about? Why is this thing specifically so dangerous?
I don't often think that my birthday presents are a secret ploy to trick me into being happier—like, what are we talking about?
Well, maybe next time she can hire you as her editor, then.