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My ISP has to be rate limiting the fediverse, whenever I connect to an instance without VPN it always takes a shitton to load, but when I use a VPN on my Wi-Fi is super fast
I thought I was imagining that.
solution: always use VPN and/or Tor
could be that your ISP's DNS is dogshit slow?
I use adguard dns
anything that's doing filtering like that makes me suspicious that it will rando domains it doesn't like, but slowness probably is unrelated? you could do some testing to find out, or just chalk it up to your ISP having real bad peering with wherever your instance is hosted or something