this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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I don't want to.
Don't watch nature documentaries, then.
David Attenborough: "This is Snowball, a 4-week-old arctic hare"
[I pause the documentary]
Partner: "Babe, why'd you do that?"
Me: "Just getting some tissues."
Partner: "Why? Look at the cute bunny!"
[Unpause]
David Attenborough: "This is Throat-shredder. She is the leader of her pack of starving arctic wolves."
Partner: "Oh, no."
Me: "Tissue?"
[Grisly killing noises from the TV]