Dad for a Minute

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If you need a dad figure for help, encouragement or just a hug this is the right community for you.

Twin communities you might be interested in

!womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone For Women Stuff
!wholesome@reddthat.com For wholesome content

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founded 8 months ago

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tired_n_bored@lemmy.world

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I shouldn't care but I do. My father has been so absent throughout my whole life (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by tired_n_bored@lemmy.world to c/dadforaminute@lemmy.world

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Hi everyone. I created this community here on Lemmy because I wish to give others what I have never felt: the love and the support of a father.

My father is alive and well, but I've always felt like he was dead. I've never received support, love, or hugs but I instead received disapproval, criticisms, insults and high expectations from him. I remember telling kids in elementary school I had no dad.

I am at an age where this should not affect me. I am an adult with his own life but I am unable to feel indifferent to it. His words (or the lack thereof) still affect me. I want him to be proud of me, at least once in my lifetime, and whenever I try to say something that I think will make him proud, I always leave disappointed telling myself "never try again".

My mother was emotionally unavailable too as she has a schizophrenia diagnosis. I don't know what I am looking for by writing this post, maybe just some nice words.

I still wish to be someone's cherished son. Thank you for reading.

Edit: Thank you to all, really. Your thoughtful comments warm up my heart.

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[–] blady_blah@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

You never have control over your childhood, but you have control over your life. My dad was the unemotional 1950's style dad, but my mom was a 1970's style loving mom, so I had at a reasonable upbringing. However I feel the real win was in creating my own family with the right partner and raising kids in a much more loving environment. Create your own corner of the world and give your kids the love and care you never had. It's not a replacement for what you've missed in your own life, but in it's own way, it's even better because you're passing it on to the next generation. It will also help heal your own wounds.

My 3 kids are all teenagers now and I'm going to be releasing them on the world pretty soon and even now I still go around at night and each kid and I have our little routines of hugging each other and saying good night to each other. I'm happy and I feel lucky that I've been able to give them a happy supportive home to grown in. And in the end, what more can you ask for?