Before i start, let me state that this has all happened in social media and it's not actual, IRL sex. So, Please don't mock me for doing E-sex instead of Real Sex. Let's just focus on the main topic okay? Thanks.
So, I'm a small youtuber with a few thousand subscribers and a few days ago, I Started creating a new video that needed many people to be interviewed about a curtain topic and the recordings being put in it.
So i create a post on my channel and put my Discord ID there and ask people to come sign up for the interview. Many people come to my DMs. Boys and Girls and Mostly Kids. One thing that i always do is asking for people's Age when they come to my DMs. I always ask it from them in the first few messages because it is very important to me and i want to make sure to behave correctly. I want to know if i can like, Swear in front of them, Make Edgy Jokes in front of them, Send explicit rap songs, etc.
Between these people, There was one girl. She had her real face on her Profile Picture and she looked really attractive. She came to my DMs to be interviewed and when i asked her age i figured that she's over the age of consent and not a minor unlike many other people who came.
Now don't get me wrong, It's not like, I go Super-Turbo-Horny mode on whoever cute girl that i see who's not a minor. Hell no. That's still very weird and I'm not that creepy type of dude or anything. So i went ahead as usual with her and interviewed her on a voice-call just like everyone else. And yes, The interviews where all on voice-calls. And there i heard her voice winch confirmed that she actually is a real girl. I Also Reverse-Searched her picture on google to make sure that's real as well, Winch it was.
After the interview finished, I Said goodbye to her and went to go do other stuff, But she asked me to stay and chat with her a little more. Now Again, I'm not like some super famous dude who has millions of subs and doesn't have time for anything. I only have a few thousand subscribers and I do have time to chat with my friends or fans if they want me to. So i stayed and started chatting with her more.
At first, We talked some more about the video and the interview. Then we went onto other stuff like Video Games, Other Youtubers, Video Editing and stuff like that. Then we went onto more personal stuff like, School, Food, Religion, Clothing...etc. We talked a lot for about two hours and the conversation kept getting more and more flirtatious.
We where talking about her hairstyle in her picture and then i sent her a picture of my own face to talk about my hairstyle, That's when she said I look Cute. That got me really horny and turned on. Then i finally gathered the courage and asked her if we can do a small hook-up right here, Winch she said Sure.
We didn't do anything intense. No Video/Voice Calls, No Pictures, Only Normal Sexting. I Asked her some Spicy questions like, The Size of her breasts, The shape of them, The size of their nipples, If her pussy is shaved or not, How fast can she cum while jerking off, And stuff like that. (Not like these things matter to me. Just because asking them turns me on a lot).
But the thing is, The hookup was totally one-sided. It was basically just me Asking spicy questions from her and her answering them without any emotion. She did answer to all of them without any problem. But she was making no advances at all. She didn't even seem like she was enjoying it. The reason i think that is because before i asked her to hook-up she was very energetic and happy but the moment i asked her for the hook-up she instantly went cold and emotionless. Like i had scared her or something.
It's the day after it happened right now and she's still in my DMs list and the messages are still there. She is still totally okay with me and answers to my messages as usual. But i just feel strange. I Remind again that i did ask her multiple times of her age to confirm that she's not underage. And i also asked for her consent after almost every single spicy question i asked her. But still i feel bad. I don't feel guilty or something like that. I feel more like....Scared... Scared of her leaking the chatlogs to my audience and ruining my reputation. Why am i feeling like this? Have i done anything wrong?
I Would be happy to have any sort of advise/solution from you. But please don't mock me for doing E-Sex. I don't want to hear anything about that. Thanks a lot and Sorry again.
Is this the first time you've had cyber sex with a fan?
No. But it's the third time. Why?
I think you should take it easy on that.. word will eventually get around and it's not good for your career to be doing that imo. Especially if you have any more misunderstandings with people.
Even though you don't think you did anything wrong you are still ashamed of people finding out, so I think the only solution to that is to stop having e-sex with people in that way
Okay i'll try. Thanks.
I was wondering if you could just be reacting like this because it was a new experience
The first two times that i had E-sex i didn't feel like this at all. Keeping in mind that those two times where even more intense compared to this one (maybe because in those times the other side was also making advancements on me).