Ask Lemmy

I'm interested in a wholesome relationship dynamic where the girlfriend acts as a comforting source of warmth, protection, and abundant physical affection. She's a cozy safe haven, wrapping her boyfriend in adoring hugs and showering him in doting kisses. He's gentle and sensitive, relaxing in her care and taking it all in, responding in an endearing way that fuels her nurturing.

It seems like the Internet's idea of a "strong" female presence in a hetero relationship is a dominant/submissive coercive femdom dynamic. That's not what I want at all; I want to see a female character who is eager to lead out of a loving desire to snuggle and care for her boyfriend—she wants to protect him, not exploit him. There is also no power imbalance or one-sidedness; while the girlfriend's doting affection is a defining feature, the boyfriend happily initiates and reciprocates affection as well. There are lots of open heartfelt exchanges, and it's all so subversively tender that it feels taboo.

I have never seen a relationship like this depicted anywhere. It took months of introspection and creative writing to work out the essence of my preferred dynamic and understand that labels like "gentle femdom" or "gender role reversal" utterly fail to capture the nuances of what I truly want. The romance novel and adult video industries almost completely alienate me. It feels like there is nothing for me, or at least no way to easily find it in the vast cosmos of the Internet.

It would be wonderful to find something, a book, some kind of show or movie, an obscure Internet board... really anything to scratch this constant itch that I have. Despite my mediocre skills, my own writing vastly outstrips any media I've seen so far. I'd love to see something made by someone more professional.

And yeah, mayyyybe I've dodged a bullet by being immune to the endless piles of sex appeal industry slop and provocative ads that deactivate the frontal lobe, but sometimes I want in on the fun too.

It’s ironic that I listen mostly to songs without lyrics but often mentally imagine lyrics for many of those songs.

I want to make a craft beer meme community but don't know who to do it yet.

I gave up trying to upload an actual photo and just took a photo of my dinner because I can’t post without a photo. Why does it keep giving me an error? I’ve tried different image sizes.

2 questions, feel free to answer one or both.

I love Southern fried chicken, and I'm pretty fond of waffles (savoury with bacon and maple syrup, or sweet) but I cannot imagine the combination as working at all.

They're both a little dry on the outside and soft on the inside. It feels like they really don't complement or contrast with each other. I'm sure I'd eat it if I had so alternative, but I can imagine how it is a classic American paring. I'd much rather have fries, slaw, or potato salad which all seem to offer a creamy or crunchy contrast.

Am I missing something? People who like it, what's good about it? Is the secret lots of maple syrup? Are the waffles different that usual? Is it not actually that popular? I'm a decadent European, so I can't just go somewhere and try them myself.

I’ve seen some friends that keep their places like caves; all curtains and blinds closed with maybe some lights on. Some even going so far as to put up foil and completely blocking out light. I like having blinds and curtains open with maybe just a sheer curtain to diffuse the light but I enjoy it being bright. So how do you like your space lit with natural light?

Happy Ides of March everyone! According to the Romans, it is the unluckiest day of the year, with it being cursed (I'm even taking breaks on certain things due to it, as one might notice with the icons). What in your life do you most associate with it?

Today I was attending a lecture about blockchain and cryptocurrencies and the lecturer said that freedom and safety don't go together. You can have more freedom by abandoning safety. Would you agree?

There's a lot of musicians who are huge in Europe, but not in the US. Robbie Williams, Anastacia, most of Eurodance,... What musicians are the other way round?

I'm about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I've told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.

Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I've heard stuff like "Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don't take leave".

To me it was a no brainer, I'm getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn't taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.

I'm in the US so I know it's a "strange" concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn't affect at all. Again, it's a state program available to almost anyone who's worked in the past 2 years, I've talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that's it.

I feel like I'm missing something.

And no, the microwave is not a valid option.

As in, channels where the presenter is laid back, calming, and the content is slower paced and chill. My go two examples are LGR for retro computer stuff, and Hainbach for experimental tape music.

I don't really like discord, but my gaming group have been using it for rpg stuff. Chat channels, video calls and easy to setup bots have all been really useful.

But I get the feeling the enshitification is going to get worse, so I was looking for somewhere else to migrate to. The video stuff isn't as important, we could switch easily to other services. But before I start a new campaign, and spend time setting up bots with routines for rolling dice and calculating tables, I'd like to do it somewhere that isn't in talks for an IPO.

I'm not really up on stuff like this, so I don't know if there's some obvious similar choices or an alternative medium that I haven't considered.

Sorry, I'm sure this has been asked recently but I can't find it while searching.

Are there any web based lemmy clients (like alexandrite) out there that allow post filtering by keyword? I'm not as concerned about filtering comments, but that would be nice as well.

And if it has to be an app, any suggestions for a linux desktop?

So I've been working in retail for a while and seen my share of odd and rude customers, but today I had my very first "Karen", and he was american also. (I'm not, and I'm in Australia).

The store I work for doesn't give their bags for free, we charge for them. This guy picked an online order and then threw up a tantrum and demanded to speak to a manager when I refused to give him a bag for free. Another team member (more experienced) just gave him the bag and he just left.

That does it I guess, but it's giving in to rude demands what sustains this kind of behavior imo. I'm not trying to protect the interests of the corporate I work for- it's just a stupid bag ffs, perhaps ask nicely? I've been called off both for giving away bags for free before as well as calling for the manager to deal with "minor issues".

So I'm asking, in general, how do you deal with these types of customers?

I have a few blogpost rss feeds that I like to follow. And a few news podcast rss feeds. I would like a few more written news feeds (ideally one that is not super spammy)

So what topics do my fellow lemms like to keep tabs on that support rss?

I'm in my late 20s. In the last years, I've moved a few times and tried out a bunch of things. And discovered I have a hard time getting close to people.

I used to think I just need to go out more. But I found out that most people I meet just don't seem to "fit" with me.

Let's say I meet some interesting people, who are funny, smart and have shared interests with me. We make a bit of small talk, hang out, and then I go home exhausted, feeling like I just came out of a work meeting that should have been an email. And given from how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual.

Someone told me I am quite cold towards people I don't know well. Part of that might be that my usual way of talking is a bit emotionless. Another part could be a consequence of me basically going through the script in my head. "How is work these days? Cool. Yeah, me too. Yup." I don't want to be this way. But I also don't want to go into full sales presentation mode, because that feels really wrong.

I used to think I would just become misanthropic. But there are people where I just click with. Talking to them is not a chore, but something I look forward to. And they seem to enjoy my company as well. Some events seem to have a lot more of "my people", some less.

If you read my rambling until here, thanks. I genuinely don't know any more. Am I becoming the old sod sitting on his porch yelling at kids? Or am I just spending time on the wrong people? Have you experienced something similar? And how could I change this?

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Do you have the impression that alcohol consumption that was pretty normalized a few years back on every social occasion is getting questioned lately? What do you think about it?