this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 day ago (28 children)

I just want a game that lets my avatar be left handed.

[–] FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

changes all weapons to be two-handed

This way, no one will complain and there’s only one thing to maintain!

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You can hold a two handed weapon favoring the left, or the right.

[–] FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

😵

You’ll just hold it right at the center of your screen. You’ll not see anything, but it’ll work!

[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You’ll just hold it ~~right~~ left at the center

FTFY

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[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I want dresses, and I don't care if they clip through literally everything!

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[–] pewpew@feddit.it 61 points 1 day ago (2 children)
  • "Can you make the player be able to summon a monster from the fifth dimension?" "Yes ok ez lol"
  • "Can you make the player able to exist in the world without having it fall though the ground?" "You are asking too much mate"
[–] Beldarofremulak@discuss.online 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Player: Can you make it so that a 3 inch drop won't kill me?

DayZ Standalone dev: .........

[–] Justdaveisfine@midwest.social 9 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Oof, this reminds me of a personal experience.

Me: Oh this grapple system is easy, we'll just push the player's vector towards the destination vector.

Game: Oh but there's a small object in the way that cannot be moved. This will make an immense amount of collision data per tick.

Me: Can't we just ignore-

Game:

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[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 23 hours ago

You're the one who asked to open a gate to the fifth dimension, you can't then get upset that you broke 3+1 dimensional physics

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 12 points 1 day ago

Shadows in the real world a lack of energy Shadows in games imma need it all boss

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 day ago

"I noticed the elves in level 3 look too similar to the dwarves in level 5."

"It's too late to change it now!"

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I worked at a company that made IoT stuff (which is an increasingly archaic term). The web team was pitching using a third party tool called ThingSpace to view and manage the things. The web dev said ThingSpace could do all these amazing things automatically. The manager said “can we change the color of the background?” The web dev said “…. no.”

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
body {
    background-color: pink!important;
}
[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I didn’t say they were very good web devs.

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[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] bappity@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

what if you wanted a scarf, but god said

Traceback (most recent call last):
  File "you.py", line 1, in <module>
    scarf()
NameError: name 'scarf' is not defined
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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago

The logical answer is that too many Computer Science majors loved Silver Age comic books.

The Martian Manhunter was stronger than superman, but couldn't handle fire. Green Lantern was similarly godlike, but was unable to control anything colored yellow.

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