this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Toilet Paper USA

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This is not a real tweet

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[–] PDFuego@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is not a real tweet

Honestly, without this I would have had no idea. I looked at his X page & his posts are such a shitshow that it legitimately could have been real (at least, an actual "joke" that he'd make), then I couldn't see any way to sort the posts to find the most recent ones because the UI is pretty bad.

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Considering he once published this it really wouldn't be surprising.

"I dreamed I saw my maternal grandmother sitting by the bank of a swimming pool, that was also a river. In real life, she had been a victim of Alzheimer’s disease, and had regressed, before her death, to a semi-conscious state. In the dream, as well, she had lost her capacity for self-control. Her genital region was exposed, dimly; it had the appearance of a thick mat of hair. She was stroking herself, absent-mindedly. She walked over to me, with a handful of pubic hair, compacted into something resembling a large artist’s paint-brush. She pushed this at my face. I raised my arm, several times, to deflect her hand; finally, unwilling to hurt her, or interfere with her any farther, I let her have her way. She stroked my face with the brush, gently, and said, like a child, “isn’t it soft?” I looked at her ruined face and said, “yes, Grandma, it’s soft."

[–] PDFuego@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Thank you for sharing. Excuse me.

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago

If those are his dreams, can you imagine his nightmares?

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago

Maaaan. This shit before coffee? That's just wrong.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

I think of it this way. If you'd told me in January that Trump was planning on alienating the military and tanking the stock market I'd have said you were nuts.

It's 2025 and it's getting tougher and tougher for comedians to stay ahead of the reality.

Projection.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Riddle me this

Riddle me that

Who is afraid of a vegan snack?

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I'm glad to inform OOP that he can still eat his grandma out while being vegan, doubly so if she is a vegetable!

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I'm just saying we're rocking exactly zero grandma context pictures so

[–] ellypony@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I can absolutely imagine Jordan Peterson saying this with his Mickey Mouse voice on some low grade podcast or something lmao.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Toilet paper USA? He's Canadian.