Gaming

My wife and I met 8 years ago playing Dota 2. Now our friend group is all late 20s early 30s, and we mostly play pve games like Darktide a couple times a week, but when we can we also meet up for tabletops. We will definitely continue playing games since we enjoy them. My in-laws just retired and they have gotten really into pokemon go. My mom never really 'got' any game but now she's really into Lego and jigsaw puzzles. One of my friend's parents are also really into tabletops and will sometimes join us. It's super cool that you and your kids have a hobby that you share and bond over, and I hope to have that with my own child someday!

There shouldn't be a cutoff, of course. As the current demographic gets older, I bet the stigma will keep dying down. Sorry to hear about your difficulties, though.

41 year old woman here. I was born with gaming, I will die with gaming. Do not hide your gaming from the get go. Put it in your profile. Its a huge part of my life, so finding that in a partner is a must in my book. There are women out there that share my sentiment, and some that just like games or don't care.

I don't think there is a cutoff.

My 80yo grandfather still pulls out the gamecube to play Mario Kart (and for a long time noone else could beat him). My grandmother before she passed was not really big on video games but would play one specific level of crash bandicoot over and over again.

My 45~yo mother streams minecraft in her free time and is even looking to start up a YouTube channel with more content. Some of her viewers are close to her age and when she was playing more Counter Strike than Minecraft the server she played on had adults of all ages on it.

I'm getting closer to 30 every year and I can't see myself ever quitting games. If/when I marry I imagine playing games will just be part of family bonding. I may get worse as I age like my grandfather but I doubt I'll ever stop.

Never too old and if anyone says it is just ignore them, not their life to dictate. I will never understand why anyone would give up what they find fun because someone else finds it silly or 'not socially acceptable'. Its just them trying to press their own opinions of whats acceptable like its a fact.

I'll never stop gaming, if someone didn't like that to the point they judge me or try and tell me to stop its not a person I'd care to be friends with or talk to anyways. I'm not that old but when I was younger I got berated all the time for gaming, very glad I ignored all that nonsense and kept doing what I enjoyed. I've got a good career path out of it and friends I met online through gaming who now live close by.

I'm 63, a woman, and I play games. <shrug>

Do what you want. I'll play until I'm dead.

There's no cutoff. Find a better dating pool.

Feels like up to 15-17 is normal for everyone, up to around 27 is a bit weird but ok. Above 30 people will see it as a red flag.

That's an actually very interesting question, I've never thought of that.
I'm a gay guy and I'll be 33 next week and most of the time I'm talking to a new guy and I say I love games either they like games too or they just don't have something to comment about it... It's just something. But to be fair, I don't meet new people frequently so my experience is kinda limited and I don't know other guys that are older than me.
And I don't think I would really care if someone doesn't like that I'm old and still gaming. People read, watch movies, play cards for ages, gaming is a hobby as much as any other.
A person that thinks being old and gaming isn't fine is just a person I wouldn't connect to...

is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?

I think that's exactly it. Gen X was the first generation to experienced playing video games for their entire lives. Video games, as with all new things, tended to be poo-poo'ed by the older generation and as such, many Gen Xers elected not to get in to video gaming.

I think if you were of any younger generation, you would find responses on dates to be quite different.

Back in the ancient Greek era there were people worried that printed books were going to rot peoples' minds because they would just be absorbed in them 24/7.

Do what you wanna do, dude.

41 year old woman who games Playstation and PC. There is no age cutoff.

That said, it wasn't all that common to have a game system when I grew up. My grandmother had an Atari because of her Alzheimers and that's what made my family nerds but people from Gen X are a lot less likely to have gotten the habit young.

Maybe a younger woman will be more likelyto be into it. But you both don't have to like all the same things. Ask the women you date about their hobbies instead of talking about yours, maybe? There must be some common ground interests, or at least something on their side that could be considered a bit offbeat, geeky, or childish and you can bond over being on the receiving end of judgment. Maybe she's into Renfaire or Star Trek.

Its dumb to call video games childish then go home and flip on love is blind or some shit like that.

I like how Jack Black (age 53) puts it https://youtu.be/GNJtPFXUnm4

I feel like several things are intersecting here:

1. PC gaming took off in the 90s. I'm not clear on the history of consoles but I'm wondering if they became widespread in the 80s? Having these devices at home probably created a larger generation of gamers.

2. Gaming was "for boys" until very recently, and tbh the inclusion of women as the default audience for games is still a work in progress. Game protagonists are usually male, romance options usually assume the player is a straight man, even the quests and the way NPCs are written are colored by these assumptions.

3. Video games have gotten so much more complex in a very short amount of time. The storylines are richer, the writing and visual effects have gotten signifixlcantly better. Someone who has only experienced early arcade games or clicker mobile games wouldn't see gaming in general as a worthy hobby for adults.

Yeah i'm in my 30s and still enjoy playing games, nice way to relax at the end of the day.

Related question though: any good Minecraft channels on youtube that aren't made for children? I'm just starting to get in to minecraft now and it's been super fun, but the youtube playthroughs I've been looking at have all been...seeming to not be catering to an audience my age, to put it politely.

I'm not sure. I'm in my 30s and me and almost all my coworkers play something on a regular basis: PS5/XBox/PC/Switch/mobile. Even my like 60 year supervisor is a lady addicted to mobile games.

I hope not. I'm almost 50. But I'm not in the dating pool. I feel for anyone trying to date at our age. Better to be who you are though.

As a few others have mentioned its mainly a generational thing. Video games are still "recent" and you are/were at the point that it was just starting to catch. Keep looking and hopefully you will get someone of the same mind set you are

Honestly I feel like anyone who doesn't play video games in 2023 is out of touch but that might just be my internet native speaking

It sounds like your dating the wrong women. Why do you need to add someone that’s going to make judgements of you based on a hobby? Date people that improve your life; not make you question it.

I did work for a company who ran various care homes across the country. Some for people with ill health, some just for old age. The changes care homes were having to adapt to was interesting. Not only more openly gay relationships, various different religions, etc... But also a vastly different array of hobbies, and that for some included gaming. This meant care homes having to upgrade internet/wifi, and many other adaptions. Some used handheld games machines, or mobile phones. A couple had PCs. I don't recall seeing any Mac's. A few had games machines. One elderly lady adored her original Gameboy. So it does take all sorts.

Now I'm the same age as you, so I can recall growing up and 99% of girls at school just switched off at talk of the latest game for the Spectrum 48k. We would get called geek, and other names. To a point, the stereotype will stick with some people as they grow up. But I find many, regardless of gender, do or will play games. Even if it's some form of Snake of their phone. Or maybe board games. It's all about having fun, pure and simple. Maybe they have fun in other ways. Maybe you're not compatible? I have always had the rules that a future partner would need to enjoy games at some level, mobile phone, board games, card games, etc... Have to own books and read. Have a love of music. Beyond that, it's negotiable.

So an age limit on games, nah!

I'm about your age (48) and game. I don't think there's a cut-off date as such, but it's a little bit of several things.

There is certainly a generational angle. When we were growing up in the 80s and early 90s, playing computer games was definitely not an activity targeted at adults, and gamers were generally seen as geeks and nerds. This changed of course, but other people who grew up at the same time as us but never got into games may still hang onto that image.

Gender also plays a role, women our age are a lot less likely to have ever been into games. My girlfriend for example has no problems with it but she never gamed herself and doesn't really understand it. If I think of female friends and acquaintances, I know only one woman who games as well, but she's already 8 years younger.

There's also the fact that many men do in fact grow out of gaming as they get older, start to have more responsibilities and less free time and when other interests and hobbies start to compete for that limited free time. I notice that in myself too, it's a lot less important to me now than it was 25 years ago.

Then there's the slightly uncomfortable fact that many women simply find it unattractive when a man lists gaming as a hobby, and see it as a red flag, perhaps because they associate it with certain stereotypes of people who are obsessive about it and whose whole personality revolves around gaming, perhaps because they have previous bad experiences with it, or perhaps because it's something they simply can't relate with. Maybe gamers are to women what "horse girls" are to men? :)

I think the best way to handle it on the dating scene is to show that you're a functioning adult with a well rounded personality and a variety of interests, who just happens to game as well. At the end of the day, you have to have enough common ground to start a relationship with someone.

My backlog of games isn't going to play itself. I have no choice. (in my 50s)

Don't know what to say that hasn't already been covered in five pages of comments, but don't date people who denigrate your hobbies. There's no "age cutoff" for enjoying the things you enjoy. You don't just stop enjoying things after a certain arbitrary age threshold.

The old view of adulthood as being a time of constant misery, struggle, and hardship, in which every moment of enjoyment you manage to claw from it is a moment stolen from the future, which will be replaced by further misery, is fucking stupid. Do what makes you happy, and ditch the Karens.

Folks born in the 70s may have more feelings about video games being kid stoys than younger ones, but they probably also have really backwards ideas about, I don't know, fun in general? And that's probably signalling that there's some kind of fundamental personality mismatch or some unwelcomed views on masculinity and gender dynamics.

It might be a little harder to meet people, but it's worth sorting through the mismatches in order to find a compatible partner, even if it gets discouraging sometimes.

For what it's worth, I'm 40, and I not only still play video games, I still play the video games I loved when I was 5, and watch the cartoons that I loved when I was 10. My wife's not big into video games, but she definitely doesn't judge people for their preferred forms of entertainment.

So our discord regularly has friends and family in the age range from 17-59 currently who all game and socialise together. I don't think there is a limit.