this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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memes

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dank memes

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submitted 9 months ago by moonlake@hexbear.net to c/memes@hexbear.net
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[–] reaper_cushions@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Crocodiles only eat on very rare occasions, so I’ll just hope it has eaten in the last couple weeks.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago

And it it hasn't, there's always Tree

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Tiger final answer, if I'm gonna die I'm gonna pet the big kitty first

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 3 points 9 months ago

Damn right. My final thoughts will be about how cute those beans are.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I can potentially outplay the croc for 20 minutes by dancing around. I can't outplay the others that long.

Also with like a stick I can 100% keep it at stick distance away from me.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'll pay you 100 million dollars for 20 more minutes with the bear.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

I'll pay you 200 mil for 20 more minutes with Jerma

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

Gator is probably the safest bet. Bear or tiger are maybe possible if they're in a good mood or something. Pretty sure to Jerma I'd just be another number in the kill count.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago

Pretty sure that's an alligator, and I'm definitely taking them. We will both sit on opposite sides of the room and vibe for 20 minutes.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I know a crocodile is faster than me in a straight sprint but I feel like I could Dark Souls circle strafe it without too much difficulty

[–] Xx_Aru_xX@hexbear.net 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Can't believe women would rather spend 20 minutes with a crocodile than a man

[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

the man is infinitely more likely to chop you up in a meat grinder than the crocodile jerma-psycho

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

Known serial murderer Jeremy Albertson vs a gator who can only move in straight lines and is defeated by diagonal movement.

[–] blakeus12@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

i would push jeremy over and run away

[–] YEAHBUDDY@hexbear.net 4 points 9 months ago

Bear solidarity

[–] Achyu@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The human. I'll be more likely to subdue them, if they don't have any hidden weapons or so.

Or the crocodile, if I can be some distance away from it.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What if he has a gun?

[–] Achyu@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 9 months ago

Game over before it began then.
I thought they'd be unarmed.

Like, what if the animals were made to go hungry for a week and were trained to be aggressive or made irritable?