I'm afab and if the surgery was possible for turning what I have into a fully functioning dick, I would have done it by now.
Basically I'm comfortable with my perceived gender, I just wish how I see myself mentally when I think about sex, matched up to what I've got in my pants. I've felt this way since I was a young teenager too, so it's not a phase or a fetish, it's how I've wanted to present sexually for most of my life.
Does this disconnect I'm talking about just fall under the non-binary trans umbrella? Or is it a seperate thing?
Are there any other people here who feel this way?
(Phalloplasty does not appeal to me. The surgery is brutal, it doesn't look right (to me) when it heals, it isn't functional how I would want it to be, and it isn't sensitive like a dick.)
I'm afab, but identify as agender. I have gone through many of the thoughts you've written here, especially if I'm even allowed to call myself trans when it's not exactly feasible for me to get bottom surgery. I'm also aroace, in a similar way that you are
Have you considered trying testosterone? At a lower dose you can still get some bottom growth. You'll also have some of the other changes like thicker body hair, and lowering of voice. I was on T for about four months and didn't have any voice changes, but still had enough growth that I was content. I can go into more detail if you like, and there's some toys out there (and functional prosthetics) that help alleviate some of the bottom dysphoria. There's definitely no right way to be Trans or NB but it helps to have some anecdotal info when you're feeling lost.
Oh wow, I really appreciate your replying to this!
I considered trying testosterone cream for growth down there when I was younger but the increased body hair really put me off. I'm naturally already hairy and used to be very, very beardy when I was younger. Seriously, if I was a trans man I would have lucked out on the facial hair front. I obsessed over plucking it all out throughout my teens, and then in my 20's had so many electrolysis sessions and yet I'm in my 30's now and still have to shave every few days as these damn follicles just haven't fucking died.
The lower voice thing though is something I'm after. Despite my not being a very talky person anymore, I've been casually voice training for a while now since discovering it could be done without T. Women with low voices are cool and Dr Girlfriend is low key goals.
Back when I was still into having sex, straps and similar toys were something I was really into and there's a few shapes/styles which I really enjoyed as I could have a dick while also getting sensation from the other areas it was in contact with. The positioning was always off though as what felt best didn't fuck best and visa versa. Also most of mine were purple or pink as my skin tone doesn't really come in dildo format and other 'skin' colours look gross usually.
Soft packers aren't my jam from what I've tried of them, but I've not actually seen functional prosthetics before, these are very interesting!
I think I just had a moment of gender euphoria from seeing an actual dick looking dick that fucks like a dick, attached to someone like that. I'm going get one of these, I want to see that on myself. Thank you for linking that site!
If it's ok with you, I might message you at some point just to say hello and maybe talk about this and ask about your experiences.
Ok I've written a lot and am now very tired, so I'm going to stop now as it's getting difficult. Thank you for commenting and giving me stuff to think about!
Absolutely, you can message me! I'm not sure how well messaging works between piefed and lemmy yet, but I have a lemmy account too, if this doesn't work. I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. I hope you got enough rest, it seemed like there was a lot to process through this whole post
Dr Girlfriend was a whole vibe. Almost a call back to the chainsmoking, husky-voiced actresses in vintage films
I know exactly what you mean about experiencing euphoria just from viewing the website!