That sounds awful, 45 hours a week is already quite a lot, I hope you find a good solution.
I see that you moved to the US, which is my plan too (depending on how the coming years play out, but weather is honestly a big factor for me too😅), so I'd also need to stick it out for the visa.
I'm trans and from Denmark and I can confirm this. Gender affirming care in the Nordic countries is awful. Long waitlists, terrible care, lacking surgical coverage, no HRT for minors, basically legal discrimination when it comes to healthcare rights, awful and untrustworthy staff at the gender clinics, etc.
Societal attitudes are alright. Like I haven't really experienced any direct transphobia towards me that I know of, but transphobia is generally just pervasive in any country and it's more socially acceptable to be transphobic than homophobic, so you'll definitely hear transphobic statements here. Transphobia also seems to be on the rise sadly, not too long ago the previous "minister of equality" wrote a straight-up transphobic article, so it's not looking too good.