Borderlands. How did they spend that much money and none of the decision makers stop and think "nope this is crap"
this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
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Battleship. It's just such a bizarre license for a movie, and certainly one nobody ever asked for. (Well, outside Hasbro execs clearly desperate for another Transformers-level hit.)
Oddly watchable in a big dumb fun kind of way, at least. And hey, it has Jesse Plemons not playing a total sociopath, so that's neat.
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Cats
The moment they announced Cats I knew it wasn't going to work.
First, the story sucks. A bunch of cats prancing around and learning not to be a dick to that one cat.
Second, Cats is a spectacle. The reason you go see Cats in a theater is for the spectacle. Everyone is dressed up and dancing around. It's meant to be an experience. You can't translate that to film.
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Avatar.
You mean, "Dances with Smurfs"?
It's clearly ripping off Pocahontas, not Dances With Wolves.
Avatar at least had the excuse of existing to push 3D and mo-cap technology.
Not sure about Avatars 2-5...
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i love that the answer to "which one?" is "doesn't matter, they suuuuuuck"
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The Minecraft Movie
It _could _ have been great. But it ended up - like the Mario movie - being a formulaic piece of drek.
Both movies were loved by their target demographic: children
What, they dont make every movie for aging millennials to monetize their nostalgia? I call bullshit, see marvel.
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Ohh i forgot another one of my favorite. Ghost in the Shell live action. I love that movie because of Scarlett Johansson, but if you watch the original anime, everything just feels better, and the live action is simply unnecessary.
There's a distinction to point out between "absolutely no business getting made" vs "the final product turned out to be shit". I can't really think of anything that belongs to the former... I haven't actually seen most of the films mentioned here so far, except the SW sequels... which turned out to be shit, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have made SW sequels at all: they just shouldn't have made them shit.
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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
At least it was better than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
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Waterworld. At the time the most expensive movie ever made and the most spectacular flop of all time.
I "think" John Carter beat it, but yeah.
John Carter suffered from an awful title.
"Princess of Mars," would have resonated better with marketing. And is actually one of the book titles.
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Pearl Harbor. 5 minutes of cool CGI, rest of it being absolutely forgettable.
Id rather watch earl arbor. Its about a guy named earl who is also a tree.
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