this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I think there's a few different contexts that get lumped together here that can lead to some confusion.
dating (both parties are obviously flirtatious) followed by getting zoned or soft rejection leading to ghosting etc
thinking it's dating, but not both sides agree, so in the zone the whole time, just didn't realize it
actually friends, then trying to make it more, getting rejected leading to awkwardness etc
these are all very different scenarios that are conflated by the term in unhelpful ways
Just some food for thought.
e: what I'm getting at is that the term is providing cover for some seriously bad behaviors in a lot of cases, but not all necessarily, and this makes is pretty sus kinda like a dog whistle