this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face
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He had a surprisingly long streak of not dying tho. I could've lost a lot of bets on his ass. Seems like he played safe with his special unicorn status but eventually got sacked when he walked out of his playground and couldn't explain in a C2 level russian to an angry hillbilly Vanya that, no, he is not a CIA plant and, yes, he is there to record shorts and eat premium MREs instead of storming the trenches like many Vanya's peers did, once, before eventual retirement two feet under.
Could just have been that he annoyed them. The wiki article doesn't read like he's a cool guy. Propably opened his mouth one to many times and got what he should have gotten decades earlier. And to get away with it they just said they thought he was a spy.
His grave mistake was being Bentley. Could've chosen Lada or Volga as his surname, but he liked to show off,