this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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I don't want to doubt your 80 year old friend, but I'm doubting your 80 year old friend.
I use they/them pronouns and work in the service industry. I've also worked with a few other trans people. That story is basically the opposite of how trans people act in public at their jobs, in my experience. We'll only every really correct people who misgender us if they're regulars and give off an OK vibe.
For me or anyone I know to call out a customer and tell them they're being rude would require something really egregious.
If the story is at all true, I'd bet your friend called her "sir" or something when asking for the refill.
I appreciate your skepticism and if I was randomly hearing the tale online, I would probably make the same conclusion. Personally, I believe the guy based on how I've seen him treat people for over 40 years and his general politics/world-view. If he'd said it happened to someone else, or if he hadn't seemed so confused and saddened when he asked me if he was wrong, maybe I'd feel different. As it is, I can imagine his shock at being accused may have lead him to exaggerate how hostile the waitress was, but mostly I'm thinking @Skua@kbin.earth is correct that it was just a case of mishearing what was said.