this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norrissed
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called The Islands
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After 3 days of excruciating pain, the rattlesnake died.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his bedroom. It's not dead, it's just too scared to move
Good one, never heard that one before :)
Chuck Norris can run so fast, he can punch himself in the back of the head
But also he's a fascist cult piece of trash which puts a damper on these classically fun jokes
sad to hear, what did he do?
He doesn't think gay folk should be allowed in boy scouts, he and his wife once endorsed a campaign encouraging evangelical Christians to "restore godly leadership" in the U.S., he’s suggested that secular governance is a threat to the nation (instead of the whole fuckin point), he's made bigoted, unfounded accusations against Muslims serving in government, he thinks public schools should teach that jebus and sky wizards made us and thinks teaching evidence based evolution is "biased". Just a fuckin mess.